FaDzLiNa

Douchebags and other Pieces of Trash. .

2011-09-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Every week, before I go to work, my Grandma would ask,

"Kau tak cari kerja nu?" (Aren't you going to find a job?)
"Ni pergi kerja la ni.." (I am going to work now)

I have had my new job for almost 6 months now and she is still telling me to find a job! I worry about her sometimes. She hits her head on the bed post, and five seconds later, she would hit the same spot. Age really gets to you huh.. I hope I do not have to live so long. I'll probably go by the time I get to 50.

Apparently, there has been some thievery happening at the workplace. And after much gossip and intuitive ravings... We know who it is. A shocker, definitely. The decision was pretty unanimous. Though, I still have a few doubts myself. We will never know who it really is until someone actually reports this. Just have to be more careful. Though I'm completely penniless this week. . . Oh gosh. . .

I said to Shaban, "Baby, we're gonna eat 'Poor people style' tonight..." Sad, really.
We've been having arguments lately. Maybe the problem is not with him. Maybe its me. I should learn to accept him the way he is. Though it is so bloody hard. This is the only relationship that has got me to put in so much effort. So much patience. I hope it's worth it.

Ooooh, I'm gonna be 21 next week. I'm really bummed out about it. The most excited, prepared, exhilarated people, who's been anticipating my birthday are... My parents.
Cause this coming September 27th, they can finally cash in their lottery ticket, me.

Gosh, I hate them so much.

douchebag
An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of others with no sense of how moronic he appears. Not to be confuzed with douche.

douche
a word to describe an individual who has shown themself to be very brainless in one way or another, thus comparing them to the cleansing product for vaginas.

(www.urbandictionary.com)

And with that educational note,

Have a Good One!

I wish I were Brave

2011-06-14T02:51:00.001-07:00

If there was a cure for love, would you want it?

He said yes.

How can the person you so eagerly want to be a part of you be more and more of a stranger everyday. .

How does a dream come true start to become more of a nightmare as days go by. .

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Hibai

2011-03-20T23:26:00.000-07:00

"The Man From Nowhere". More like "The Unbelievably Hot Hunk who gets Hotter by the second from Nowhere"

Its like "Taken" but Korean version, and not his daughter. I realise I'm always comparing "Taken" to most action movies. Well, it was da bomb. Great acting, some awkward lines but his gorgeous God-given looks smoothed everything out. The little girl was good too, with the puppy eyes and the sad sad voice. Loved it.

Watched it with my favourite person of the moment. He's like this little boy who you can't help but melt in his adoration and affection.

My usual nonsense questions:

Me: Would you still want me if I became really really fat? (points to a really overweight person)
Him: Yes of course.
Me: Really? But you would make fun of me though, right?

Me: Would you still be with me if you found out that I used to be a man?
Him: Yes I would.
Me: You would?? Now you're just saying it.
Him: I really would.

We'll see what happens when I show him my wood.

.....My wooden table... What were you thinking of? Geez.

The Catalyst To Self-Destruction

2011-03-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

How well do we know ourselves?

I just discovered something horrible. And its about me. Something that I was dead sure of. It was a principle, I thought it was inbuilt. How disappointing. Now I don't know who I am. Are the things I say or think of, true?

How do you believe anything when you can't even believe yourself? Am I having some kind of identity crisis?

So basically, I need to find myself. Shake me up and really start doing something about it.

Ahhhhhh......

Transient Thoughts

2011-03-05T22:31:00.000-08:00

Moments are fleeting.

That is why they are so precious.

It was one of the best moments since a very long time.

It's imprinted in my head, I'll never let it go.

Gawd, i'm such a mush-head!

Is this what they call pain?

2011-02-24T21:56:00.000-08:00

It is perplexing how some people go about their lives without thinking of the future and what more, the end. I know it's depressing,I am one who habitually dwell on hopelessness.

What happened to maternal love? What happened to basic responsibility?

I don't think I can commit to "Who next, Who next, Who next?"

The world is grey to me now. Much like yours.

-You push until you're shoving. You bend until you break.

Rack em' up

2011-01-16T06:57:00.001-08:00

Life in the retail line is monotonous and unbearable; for my brain and feet respectively.

Same old thing over and over! Racks racks racks. When I close my eyes, I see hangers. I visualise arranging them.. I'm going out of my mind. At least I've found out how much I'm unsuitable for retail. Staff-wise, there are a few great people. Though some customers can be total biyatches. Oh well, occupational hazard...

I don't even like shopping! Although....I might be warming up to it..

Along The Interwebs

2010-12-21T06:55:00.001-08:00

I guess Twi-haters will consider this a "win". But come on, he's just an actor... Who looks really sleazy. And always seem to be high on something. I say its mean. No need for rude gestures. Unless he did something indecent. He kinda look like he peed on that wall don't he? In that case, "you go girl!"

I was kind of on team Jacob ('s abs). But then I decided, I'm gettin' too old for this shit.

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When HE Comes a-Knocking

2010-12-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

I'm talkin' bout Near-death experiences.
In all my life, I've had 2. As yet.. And of my knowing..
Once a long time ago, and the other a few days back.
True story.

Long Time Ago

My age: around 4 or 5 years old.
It was an ordinary day, as days usually are when near-death experiences make their appearance. We went out that day, me and my Grandma. In those days I enjoyed her company along with her travels. We were at Clementi or was it Buona Vista? Places where I don't really care for now. So anyway, we were making our way back, to the train station, me in an ecstatic mood cause I had a balloon in my hand, courtesy of Macdonald's.

With eyes only for the balloon, it felt like we were fast-forwarded to the MRT platform. My Grandma was chatting up some stranger lady as she usually does, when... Cue *scary murder scene music*. . a mighty gust of wind swooshed toward me. It plucked the balloon right off its stick! (Big deal?)

The bloody balloon started to glide away from me.. I reached for it, stretched my little arms out, it was merely out of my reach. I went after it, almost glided after it. *Grandma still chatting it up in the background* I was almost at the opposite side of the platform... 4 feet away from the gaping track... Time for a new plan... Skid! *Slow motion* Balloon fell bastardly into the hole of rocks and tracks. And me, one leg hanging above the aforementioned hole, the other on the platform. Frozen.

People gasped. "Aiyah! Heng ah..." said the Aunties. "Anak siape ni?" said the Makciks. Only then did my Grandma realise it was her grandchild, making a scene.
She pulled my frozen body off the floor and just laughed it off "heh heh.. Kids.."

I had nightmares for days after that.

Few days back

Night time. Depressed. As I usually am when at home, fidgeting, I needed to get out of the house. But where to? Whatever. I left, feeling energised already. I walked and kept on walking. Noticed a white car positioned at the roadside. Its headlights blinking. Paranoia kicked in, 'What if the people inside are waiting for me to walk past a scary dark place to cover my head with a cloth and kidnap me?' I started sprinting, looked back a couple of times, conveying, 'I know you're watching, don't even think about it'.

At a bright area now, lost in my thoughts. Finally able to think about stuff, anger, dwell on some more. . .Oh wait, where was that bright area?? AH! Pan right: Bangladeshi workers! Pan left: China worker / Old lusty uncles! Eyes at the back of the head: Darkness...Forestness... Up ahead: Light at the end of the tunnel(figurative). Move move move, was all I can think of. Have to keep moving. 'What are you staring at? Never seen a person gone hysterical before? Why are you wearing that cloth? Its a public place!' was some other things I was thinking of.

Finally, civilisation! Cars, MRT station over there..Traffic stop. (Its coming, I'm building the suspense). Green man is blinking. Heck, I have to get out of here. Breaking one of my strong principles, I crossed the road. Traffic was heavy that day, all waiting for me to get a move on. *Briskly* Oooh! A text! Check inbox.. *Strolling* Honk! Wha.. What? Red man. Oh shit. I'm in the middle of a one-way road. Now everyone's honking. Cars started to move. Like a chicken in the.. No. Like a cat in the middle of the road, I panicked. Going back and forth, okay, dash! Green car almost hit me. Stopped a centimeter from me. Banging on the honk, the lady driver shouted profanities which i couldn't hear from inside her car.

Survived it.

Urge to write: Done

The Thin Line

2010-11-11T03:33:00.001-08:00

Now that I've quit my job, I have lots of free time. Probably too much. It's been less than a week but I'm squeamish already. I've read, fed, napped, watched a load of "feel-good" movies and I'm about to consider a "family outing". Yikes.

And, as an added bonus, I've driven away almost all of the people who used to hang around with me. Boy, this sure is the definition of free time. If you're wondering, of course I have a plan. .This happens to be part of the plan.

Just an update, in case anyone thinks I'm dead. Not yet! But this boredom might just do the trick. I'll be back if anything picks up.

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You Know I’ve Done It Before, And I Can Do It Some More

2010-09-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

I’m Back! Back from my little hiatus. I just wanted to use that word.

A big Fat “ANYWAYS” I have a lot to tell.

Some people say, I am too naïve, too trusting. Maybe because I’m a horrible liar and an avid discloser. But I say, what kind of a boring world would that be if you start doubting and analyzing every compliment, gift or God forbid, a smile from a stranger? I’m not saying jump in with eyes closed, but don’t be such a cynic. So that’s my middle finger to those who think I’m “naïve”.

But of course, I’ve made mistakes, trusted the wrong people. Broke my heart a couple of times, still, it didn’t kill me or hasn’t. Even so, I learnt. No more sweet talking smart alecks with a fondness of ripping my heart out! That I know, but I’m still a believer.

I did not know that SpongeBob SquarePants has like what? 8 seasons now? I’ve only watched 5! This cannot be happening. I’m gonna get me-self some Sponge moolah. I saw the “Making of Spongebob”, and Tom Kenny, the guy who does Spongebob’s voice is somewhat a weird guy. Like a nerdy, shifty kind nevertheless with uber mega talent. Guess it’s the quiet ones that you’ve got to watch out for.

Oh and we’re gonna have that Hari Raya outing thing that I haven’t done in ages. “We” as in Secondary School gals and guy. Looking forward, but kinda scratching my head on this one. Seeing the only visitor we had this year was an elderly couple (my beloved aunt and uncle). Also, my family’s rather new with the visitors thing. So please excuse the awkward air that shall blanket you… hmm yeah..

My birthday! Is coming. But I’ve already gotten so much that I feel like I’ve celebrated already. You guys are awesome. Maybe its not such a good idea to say your names cause I don’t want it to seem like I’m pressuring any others. Actually, I have felt pressured before when my name was not mentioned in that particular blog post of “thank yous” Because I forgot his birthday. And I felt guilty. So guilty, that I’ve put an alarm just for his special day. You know who you are! Don’t worry, I’ll get it next year.

Am I excited to leave my teens? I’ll answer that when I’m there.

--Save the Pilot Whales

I am Dramatic and I'm Okay with it!

2010-06-22T03:33:00.000-07:00

I've always thought that honesty is the best policy, but apparently it isn't. There's the need to know honesty and the unnecessary honesty.

Need to know: "Your breath is quite unholy. Care for a mint?"

Unnecessary: "Your ass is huge"

Well of course that person knows her ass is huge. It is unnecessary to point out because there isn't much to do at that moment to change the fact yeah? I am quite blunt every now and then but usually i do catch myself when its pertaining a sensitive issue. We've got to pick our battles, people. Now i've learnt to sugar-coat my words and to avoid altogether, a possible minefield. Sometimes its just not your place to say.

A whole different story:

I had a supernatural encounter recently. It was in the afternoon around 1pm-ish, my normal sleeping time, when i woke with a start. I just had a nightmare about a ghost who was confused about his sexual orientation. Really freaky! So after coaxing myself into establishing the fact that it was just a dream, i closed my eyes to sleep the shock off. It was then that i heard footsteps. Assuming it was a relative, i wasn't stirred. It was only when i felt a weight on the bed and then . . . I actually feel too spooked to end this story. Maybe i will tell in person. Its my first encounter. But then again it could be my imagination. But honestly i am not exaggerating.

Been feeling down, not having anything to look forward to. My mind is in a clutter. I'm starting to think i brought it all upon myself.

Its a little bit like this:

I'm a mess, I'm a mess of mistakes.

Virgin Martini Please

2010-05-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

This post is late. Well in my life, what isn't?

Been munching too much seeds lately. Sunflower and pumpkin seeds.. I hope there are no problems in the output department.

I am so over Colin Farell. He’s old now. And unhygienic-looking. What is up with that? He has been removed from my fantasy dreams. And the spot is now free, looking for a new male lead. Any suggestions? Brad Pitt is looking dirty too. Hygiene is the new Hot. Keep that in mind.

Went to visit my friend who had a new baby. A girl, less than a month old. All the girls I went with instantly went “I wanna carry her, Please!” While I was on the side thinking “Please don’t ask me to carry her” It’s for the baby’s safety! I have no absolute idea how to hold a baby. What with the fragile neck and the non-existent knee-cap. I do not want to be branded ‘Baby Killer’. My cousin used to tease me constantly. She would whisper annoyingly in my ear “Tak tahu jaga bayi”. I have completely severed ties with her, and planning to kidnap her baby when she has one. Just kidding. Maybe that joke went too far. So anyway, we had fun. Had Arab food, found out i’m not too fond of Arab food. Gossiped and there was a lot of marriage / engagement talks. Was not able to contribute much to that just maybe “Make him do housework!” Couldn’t stop laughing when Shima said “I’ll throw the periuk on his face if he asks me to cook” But it seems like i was the only one who found that funny.

So here’s Shariffah Hana:

Here’s my ex-colleagues who are addicted to cam-whoring plus me:

Major breakouts. Owing to the lack of sleep. If only there was some kind of pill that can repay your sleep debts. Take 2 for 2hours. Wouldn’t that be awesome. We humans are always looking for short cuts. I bet there would be a side effect. Like premature aging. Yucks! Tried some egg yolk and lemon thing on face, had a weird smell.. result: smooth baby-like skin, with a side of pimples. I’m wearing a paper bag over my head.

I'm aware that i'm a pretty bad online-chatter if that's what its called. I usually sound distant and busy when actually i'm not. My replies are one phrase or one word. Yeah guess people find that anti-social-like behavior. I just find it impersonal to type. Especially when you find something really funny. "HAHA!" Is just not enough..

Flu-ey!

[Insert Rap Here]

2010-04-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

I’m addicted to “High-five and snap”. Honestly, it’s really captivating. Just recently, I helped a passenger and he was so darn happy he said “High five!” I almost wanted to scream “AND SNAP!” But nah, you know professionalism and all.. (I snapped under the table)

I can’t really remember the last time I had fun. I have too many reservations. Or do I? Anyways, I’m appallingly broke. It’s like what the hell happened? Maybe I’ll spend the next off day, going to the library or a leisurely walk around my beautiful neighborhood. I’m being sarcastic, yes. Uhhhh..

How do I fill the emptiness I feel? It’s tugging at me. The gaping-ness of it is just too painful. When shitty things happen, they just flood on through. I’m tired of my own complaints. And I’m pretty sure others are too. So I’ve decided not to anymore. When I remember though. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna do anything about it. Let’s not have expectations. It makes me edgy and I become not me.

I may not be on time but.. Kick Arse is awesome. I’m just gonna go ahead and adopt Hit-Girl. And I’m gonna love her till she likes ponies and rainbows. Yes I have that power. I get pleasure from movies displaying true justice. Just the way they beat the hell out of those bad guys, who cares if they play dirty. Kick the balls! Kick the balls! Like “Taken”, just sick ass kicking stuff.
Watched “Date Night” too. It was okay. A little too family-comedy for me but its tolerable on a day when I just want an ‘easy’ movie. I’ve always liked Tina Fey.

Sleep-deprived.

Need...Carbon Monoxide..in..Lungs..

2010-03-24T04:06:00.000-07:00

(postsecret.blogspot.com)

What is up with my brother wearing multi-coloured beaded chokers? Honestly, are we in the 90s?

Been losing weight lately. Lost my appetite. Maybe its stress-related, i don't know. I'm no longer "Miss pipi kueh pau". I'm "Miss bone sticky-outy". I hate being back to needle body shape. Gotta get back on my milk diet.

Why do people always put their holiday photos on their profile page. Its a little show-offy don't ya think? If i want to know you, i'd like to see your normal photo, maybe a passport photo. People tend to look like crap on holidays. Mostly because they're not in their own country where they may bump into someone they know. So they think its "okay" to tie their jackets around their waist. Or wear that outdated baseball cap. Alright, i am a teensy bit jealous. Yeah never been further than Indonesia.. (crawling into a corner to sob uncontrollably)

How do you respond to someone who's half angel, half jerk.. When he's mean, it makes you want to hate him and make him pay, and in a second he turns and does the most sweetest thing and it melts away all the loathing you had. Its quite a pickle. Its an irritating game that requires alot of waiting around, hoping you'll catch a glimpse of the truth. But anyways, as far as relationship issues goes, its the same old song for me, on replay over and over. i.e Come Round Soon by Sara Bareilles. I'm getting sick of it.

I hate Simba for peeing on my stuff! I feel like plucking out his balls. Poor bastard.

Ooh.. a Grape flavoured Yakult. Chao!

With Flouride Protection

2010-03-16T15:26:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that i'm a terrible shopper. I'm the grab and go kind. And apparently, you do NOT apply this style when buying electronics. Oh they will tear you apart. I've been ripped. :( Well, the next time, i will bring my time-wasting-aggressive-shopper friend. Ha! That'll teach 'em.

I love mornings. How yesterday is over and it will never return. Its a brand new day. Like a fresh sheet of paper, ready to be written. Too bad i don't see it much.

I don't know why the sudden pimples?? And around the mouth area. Really? No wonder i don't get much action. Its bad enough that i already have a small face, put in 2 moles, and now pimples. Its over-populated. Much like this country. I need help. I need dermatologic help.

I read a compilation of "amazing coincidences", online. This one is freaky:

Cabin Boy

In the 19th century, the famous horror writer, Edgar Allan Poe, wrote a book called
'The narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym'. It was about four survivors of a shipwreck
who were in an open boat for many days before they decided to kill and eat the
cabin boy whose name was Richard Parker. Some years later in 1884, the yawl Mignonette founded, with only four survivors, who were in an open boat for many days. Eventually the three senior members of the crew killed and ate the cabin boy.
The name of the cabin boy was Richard Parker.

Off to Bikini Bottom!

Know the way, and still so Lost.

2010-02-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

Yes, i watched "Dear John". And no, i am not ashamed of it. It was a really sweet movie. Oh Channing! He is so.....hard. Yes that's the word. And, and what was with the twist? I mean, okay.. Yeah she's so selfless and all. But really? I would never give up a guy like John. Ah. Alas, a love story that's a little bit like real life i.e sucks.

I feel so lost sometimes, like i don't know what the hell am i doing. Or what is the reason for my existence. And it drives me insane. What is the purpose!!? Maybe there needn't be a purpose. Maybe we're all here, just for the heck of it. I think too much. I have a huge ego, yes i do.

I need rest. I need sleep. Why am i not getting any of it?

"You don't know what you've got till its gone. Guess what? I'm gone."

Who's gonna buy me a drink?

2010-02-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

I hate Facebook. Its depressing. There's some kind of undistinguished bubble of peer pressure surrounding it. Makes me feel so... inadequate? some people are stupid enough to post up their criminal activities in Facebook. Guess that's why most policemen have their own accounts. Think i might delete it soon. I don't have anything exciting to share anyway.

Everywhere i go, almost everyone's sporting an Iphone or an Ipod touch. Okay, yeah there's hundred thousands of applications available, and its so cool looking you can customize it. But can't they come up with different types? Now everyone will know how to use each other's phones.

I wish i have that entrepreneur brain. You know, always hungry to do business. But i'm far too soft. I'd probably just give my products away for free, in exchange for hugs or something. I'm so tired of my penny-pinching lifestyle. I never get to go on sprees. Its always hours of calculating and considering and measuring. Which is why i hate shopping. Yes i despise it.
As far as i know there's only 3 ways of getting rich quick:

1) Strike lottery
2) Deal with the Devil
3) Marry an awfully rich old man whose about to kick the bucket anytime

None of the above sounds remotely good to me. I never believed in taking risks. Its far too... what's the word.. Risky.

But nah, i don't really mind. I like knowing the value of money. I think its better when you imagine it in your head than if it really comes true.

Be thankful that God does not answer all your prayers.

I'm sleepy from doing nothing today. Urgh. Monopoly Monopoly!

It's The Problem with this Brand

2010-02-08T06:40:00.001-08:00

Saw a butt-ugly baby yesterday. Yeah yeah, "all babies are beautiful" blah blah. This one was freaky. He's a healthy baby, don't get me wrong, its just his combination of genes? I don't know. He was doing all these cute baby movements, baby laughter. But man....man. His parents were, 2 okay looking ones.. I'm being too mean. Oh well, maybe he'll grow out of it.

I'm getting antsy antsy antsy.

I've been having these weird "repetitive-plot" dreams for awhile:

Its always somebody i'm not so close with, say, a colleague or classmate. Both of us are kidnapped. By Satan. And his gang alike. They are in disguise as humans. So its not so scary. We'll run and run around blocks but we'll always get nabbed. Then we'll be in a room. While the gang decides what to do with us, i'll start muttering some prayers. Well the prayers that i know. Satan would start getting sweaty and say "Why is it getting so warm?" Flapping his shirt now, "What the hell? Wait. Is somebody muttering prayers??" He bore into my eyes. The kind of look that made me gulp.

Then i woke up.

Scary huh? I get these once in a while. Maybe its a certain experience i'm having in my conscious world that's causing this. But i wish it would get more interesting though. To fill in my usual 12hours. You know.

K, i'm gonna go brush my hair or something.

Even the Birds are Chained to the Sky

2010-02-03T01:23:00.000-08:00

Ahh airplane sounds! Scared the shit out of me.

Lately, things have been a blur. Which is unusual for me, as i tend to have a hurting for being atop of things. Was a little inefficient at work. Panicked occasionally. There's a constant fear tugging at me from the back of my mind. "Make no mistakes, make no mistakes." Think i'm losin' it.

I need to lay off the salt man. Rafidah says it may be a cause for my pimples. She shudders at the thought of my fries, "don't eat her fries. You'll get high blood pressure" she says. Yeah, she's sweet that way.

Outside of work, i've been plunging myself into a new world. Confuses me sometimes, nonetheless, sweet. Sweet as two sugar bowls. Curious, how the Big Man plans things. Its all in perfect timing and with entangled reasons. Usually I don't give a crap, but now i'm careful. Careful.

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” -anon

Fuck the Price on the Tag

2010-01-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

What do I want?

Why is it such an intricate question to answer?

I'm trying, its not like i'm not.

I'm tired.

Tell me there's a reason to stay. I'm about to get up and run.

Get married. Stay Married. What a concept.

2010-01-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

Went to my colleague's wedding on Saturday. Got a little lost trying to find the temple. Great turnout. I'm usually not very good with gatherings, but i braced myself for this one. I had to see what a Hindu wedding is like!

There was an exuberance of rituals. There was a part where the Groom's feet was fed with some sort of thosai sauce? That was interesting.

Twins. Aren't they cute?

Two beautiful heads blocking my view.

All dressed up! Sarasvathy, Elizabeth.

Bride and Groom. Thulasi and ...hmmm.. husband.

Walking around and around...

The toe ring part. Its official.

It was a beautiful wedding.

The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must
be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.
Frank Pittman

Nevermind Nevermind No Problem

2010-01-05T09:09:00.000-08:00

After watching "Sherlock Holmes" trailer:

Me: Do you know who Sherlock Holmes is?
Friend: Who?
Me: Katie Holmes' father.
Friend: Wow, her father must be famous.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After watching a German movie about a guy who met "death" and they chatted.. (a little lame):

Friend: Is this a true story?
Me: What? Of course not!
Friend: Oh, right.

Walking out, we saw a "Sherlock Holmes" poster:

Me: Can you believe some people think this is based on a true story?
Friend: What kind of a person would think that? (same person from scenario 2)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I gotta go watch Sherlock Holmes!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Collection of Yimeng's mispronounciations: (published with permission)

(*) still mispronouncing

Chameleon: Cha-me-lo
Macdonald's: Mac-ni-no
Decision: Di-si-shee
Cobbler: Copper*
Silhouette: Si-lo-teh
Oink: Oh-ink
Nachos: Munchos
Lipstick: Li-tik
Diet - Tie-et
Blog: Blot*
Siblings: Shee-blings*
Panadol: Pan-da-dol
Phone: Fro
Lorry: Rorry / Lolly
Popcorn: Pok-con
Popeye: Pai-pai
Thoroughly: Ta-re-ri
Expensive: ex-pen-shiv

Just wanted to share... These always makes me smile.. by myself in the train.

Because I Built my World around You

2010-01-03T02:35:00.000-08:00

First post for 2010. Whoopee..

I read my diary for 2009. It seems to revolve around crap guys, crap people in my workplace, crap decisions, crap home situations. Guess it wasn't a memorable year. But its definitely a year where I grew up. I have more reason, more patience. Lessons learnt.
I was able to throw away the weeds in my friendships, so to speak.
I'm able to let go faster now, I mean, so what if people don't say thank you when you hold the lift for them?

Didn't start the year with a bang, didn't suck either. Well, i'm not sure why, but recently there have been a number of deaths of 2nd degree friends. Or 3rd. Not sure how that goes. Can't believe Brittany Murphy's dead. Cardiac arrest, it can happen to anyone of us. Anyways, its really freaky. Although, at times I can't help but think - they're saved.

What do I look forward to this year?
What I always do, every year. Happiness, I hope it strikes me.
Oh oh, and maybe a new kitten? Or a hot guy? Either would be reasonable.

Ugh, digestive problems.

Can't Have Dirty Garbage...

2009-12-11T22:41:00.000-08:00

I'm so hungry.. I could eat a cow. No, no.. 2 cows.

I realised that i've been bitching alot in my posts. So today will be different. Today will be

10 THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

1. Having a family that is together. Well, my family ain't perfect, i'll tell you that, but at least we are together. My parents are together. Me and my brother are together. And my grandma's together with us. Its great.

2. My four cats. I love them. They are the smartest furry bastards ever! I am so glad i got the chance to have pets. Cause, science has shown that having pets lowers your blood pressure and the risk of a heart attack. I think. Something like that.

3. My pox has cleared! YAY! Well there's still the after-scars that have yet to fade. But i'm no longer swollen. And this means no more pox for the rest of my life! Awesome or what?

4. My friends. I may not have many. (i can count them on one hand). But they are amazing people. I may not survive without them. I hope i am a good friend to them as they are to me.

5. My mother is not on Facebook. I've noticed that this can be quite a traumatic experience. But thank heavens, she doesn't even know how to change the wallpaper.
(myparentsjoinedfacebook.com)

6. No natural disasters here, yet. This is one of the reasons, i love staying in this country. We seem to only feel "tremors" of fish tank-shaking degree. This is one of my fears. Sometimes its hard to sleep when i envisioned my room being filled with water. Note to self: Purchase oxygen tank when affordable.

7. Being alive. Life is so fragile. I read in the paper that a guy died while walking happily (i'd like to think) to work. A dude on a bicycle, speeding...collided...hospital...dead. The walking guy, not the cyclist. And i think to myself, there have been hundreds of bicycles passing me and yet, i'm still here. Miracle.

8. My no-need-glasses eyesight. Not bragging or anything, but i'm glad i don't have to wear glasses you know. Well not yet, with all the ebooks i'm reading.. Its just that, i heard people with glasses can't look sideways without turning their heads, cause they're used to having frames blocking their sideview. I really enjoy my sideviews..without turning my head. (That's how i check out hot guys)

9. Spongebob. Oh thank you, Paul Tibbit! For coming up with so many superrific episodes of Spongebob. I have gained much wisdom and morals from this show. It has seen me through tough times.

10. Okay.. maybe 10 things is a little too ambitious of me.. I'll use this space to say that i'm grateful to everyone and everything that has happened in my life for the reason that it has brought me here. Here is not so bad, and its gonna get better.

I actually typed this out and saved as a draft and continued again. Oh and i removed the feedback thingy below, cause none of you cared enough to move your lazy ass cursor and click. Just a click! Ah..kay Happy Christmas!

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
-- Author Unknown

Marilyn says: imperfection is beauty, madness is genius . . .

2009-12-10T07:56:00.000-08:00

Why do people feel the crucial need to point out one's weaknesses? Seriously. Its like, every single person i meet has something they want to "help" me with. Okay maybe not every single person, but almost.

"You're too nice!"
"Stop wasting your life"
"You have such low confidence in yourself. Unattractive"
"You should dress differently. Are you kidding me with this shirt?"
"You shouldn't do that. Bad for your image"
"Thought you're a good girl, but..."
"Don't put your elbow on the table. Rude"
"You need to be more firm and less indecisive"

HEY! You don't see me dictating your life! Its my Goddamn elbow, my Fugly shirt, my Life! It hurts, okay? I may be like "ha..ha..hmm" but inside, its "Krrrrkkk.." yeah. Thats my heart. So? I know i have low self esteem. I'm workin on it, bitch. And saying these stuff to me, doesn't make the esteem any higher.

Maybe they think i'm immune to mean comments. I DON'T KNOW how to react. Should i be like "Hey, that is not nice. I do not appreciate that." Or like "What da hell? You think you perfect?!" Or like burst into tears? Argh. I have bad social skills.

I just feel like its time to say something. Gosh, i know i'm a major pushover. But i am tired of it. Its worse when i voice out that i do not appreciate that comment, they'd go like "I'm just trying to help you." "Just trying to improve you" Oh mighty thanks ya.

Indecisiveness. Its a trait. I can't help it. Its like telling a guy who twitches to stop twitching. And when he said it, it hurts. More than what i expected. I mean he should understand right? Why can't people just accept me as i am? I don't go around pointing out your annoying traits. Cause its not like such a big deal! Why? Just cause i took a bit longer to decide something, does it make people die? Does it hurt people? I may be overly dramatic here, but please get my point.

Nobody's perfect. So deal with it. People come with flaws and sometimes you just gotta accept the imperfection.

It makes me sad.

“Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness”
Karen Nave

Getta offa meeee!

2009-12-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

I have chicken pox. Its terrible. Its horrible. Its excruciating. Its, did i mention terrible?

I FEEL like a shitload of crap. I LOOK like a shitload of crap! Why? Why must it come now? Why can't it come when i was 11 or when i'm doing nothing important? It hurts. I'm whining. yes, so? I'M ALLOWED.

I can't eat properly, my mouth is swollen, my neck is swollen. I have that frog chin thing going on. Yeah really attractive.

I am so touched by all the people who cared so much. God, i hope i won't infect you. Its funny how suddenly everyone's a doctor:

"Drink coconut juice! COCONUT JUICE!"
"Don't scratch!"
"Don't bathe!"
"Bathe often"
"No chicken, egg, soya sauce"
"Drink green bean soup"

Argh! I'm gona watch a dvd now and pretend that i'm a normal 19 year old with normal skin. And that i'm not fugly.

Sob* Sob*

No conversation, No saliva.

2009-11-29T02:25:00.000-08:00

Annoyance of the day:

You know how Singaporeans love to stare at people like its a free show or something. Here's a scenario: I'm standing in the mrt, and this Nyonya of a woman is staring at me down up. The dirty teenager next to her does the same. "Okay, weird", I thought. "Oh god! My zipper must be undone!" So i proceeded to check it out. And bam! Now 4 people are staring at me cos i just touched my crotch area. See how annoying that is!! Stop staring people! Look down at your own zipper dammit.

Christmas songs! Where should i begin? Okay how bout no more please! Its everywhere, they've changed the normal elevator music to Christmas carols.. Uggh its ringing in my ears. I'm sick of seeing the trees everywhere. Like if i have to see one more, i'll punch somebody. This is called "Jolly Overdose". Yeah i ain't jolly no more and its not even December yet.

I just realised how friends' opinions and comments can lapse one's judgement. Seriously, i guess i care too much about what others think. I am made of what others expect of me. That is sad. From now on, i have much self-control to do. I must determine,is this decision mine? Or is it to please others?

Check out this postcard found in Japan. I think its effin hilarious.

"His thing must've been pretty bi....memorable."

Don't you "Don't ya think?" Me!

2009-11-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

All right.

If only we could turn back time. This is obviously the most wanted wish to come true. Well maybe it comes after money. But for me would be time. And of course while having the memory of now. I'll do it over. I'll know what to say, what to do in which situation, avoid all the hassle. But life is not structured that way. You have to go through everything to get to where you are now. Down to the smallest detail. If i didn't drop that thing, i wouldn't have seen you. If i didn't walk that way, i wouldn't have found you.

But the memories are killing me. Why is it that i can't seem to let go? Every little detail of my life, every word spoken to me, its etched into my memory, stitch by stitch. How do you let go so easily? Do tell.

Vincent Van Gogh-
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.

"The locker that ran away but tripped on a small stone"

2009-10-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

The hurt locker - is a fab fantastic movie. Such emotion, such reality. Makes you appreciate what you have here. Life is not a bed of roses for everybody. Quit whining and start living. The acting was top-class. Heart-wrenching and moving. A little like "The Kingdom". But i think its better.

I know what i want to buy! Wee! I'm giddy thinking about it. Though i'm gonna be totally poverty stricken after that. But its worth every last freaking cent.

-When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free
..Charles Evans Hughes..

So he said "you're different." And i wonder to how many people has he said that to.

Ants on Fire

2009-10-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

Ants ants! They were all over me! Sat at the wrong place.
Note to self: Avoid sitting near bushes or anything with plantation.
They really bite. It hurts. But i find that its kind of a stupid move for them to bite me. That way, i know where they are and i'm "forced" to kill them. If i were an ant, i would just quietly slip away....to safety..

Moving on. Is the world getting crazier? Or has it been this crazy, but i just haven't noticed? Seriously, everyone's like complaining... about everything! Hey! If you lost something and i'm trying to help,and its not found, don't you dare throw a bitch fit! I am not the idiotic one who lost your freaking thing in the first place. ..."Oh i hate it here! i'm never coming back". Fine! Don't! Good riddance. Why must it be this way? If everyone is polite to each other, everything will go soooo smoothly. But instead, its yell this yell that. Geez.. Seriously, what kind of fuckery is this?

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Goodness, when i was on the way back, there was a white cloth stuck on top of a tree. And it was like...just hanging there. Almost gave me a heart attack. But it was just a cloth. Yup. hokay...

All's Swell.

P.S-- Parents Schmarent!

Who's to Blame

2009-10-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Why is life so hard?
I know this is all a test.
But is it fair? An attempt to protest.
A broken nail? Broke up with boyfriend? Failed exams?
That may be the end of the world for them.
What about Hunger? Abandonment? Death?
Its selfish. Its self-absorbed. A dwindled path.
Problems are equivalent to individual strength.
Is it just? To which length?
"Maybe i don't want to be so strong"
That you might say.
Its a game of hold.
Oh who's so bold?
A twisted reality. Dare you turn away.
But we have no voice.
Its the Almighty's choice.

Hooondredth Poohsst

2009-10-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

Damn i gained weight! I've got flabs. Yes, flabs. Gosh. Gotta lay off those cheeseburgers. Maybe its because i've been a lazy ass since i've started working here. I ain't got no time to get my ass moving. I used to jog. But now its kinda hard with the timing and all. I need a plan!

Today i watched "Cloudy, with a chance of meatballs". It was a good movie. I have had dreams about huge food, and like chocolate rivers and i'm like swimming in them. Ahhhh..Those were good dreams. Some of the jokes are more understood by adults, but kids get the action-comedy part. Ohh and i watched it in 3D. With the glasses! It was awesome. Had great company. Ate great food. It was a nice day.

So this is actually my 100th post. Kinda took too long to reach here. Since i joined in 2005. Oh well..

White

2009-09-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

Ate Mushroom Swiss double today. Woah! Love it. Met Fadzilah too.. Tried to take pictures but unfortunately my phone camera's flash is too bright! And our face was white --mine was white round face with black hair, fadzilah-- white face white tudung. Hilarious. I'm not much of a technical person and i cant figure out how to adjust the flash strength. If that's even possible.

I don't really like weekends. Cos "family day" doesn't really apply to my family. And too many people outside. Overpopulation. Too many people breathing. Theres not much air left. Herkkk

..Later

Imma whoop yo ass!

2009-09-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

I'm so bored. Gosh! TV is so lame nowadays ain't it? Maybe i should get cable. Don't give me that "I-can't-believe-you-don't-have-cable" look. Not everybody's eating cheese everyday y'know? Maybe i should get a hobby. Actually, i do have a "to-do" list that doesn't have anything done yet. What can i say? I'm a planner, not a do-er. Spent most of my time planning to do things and not having time to do it. Yup, i definitely see a problem there.

What is up with creepy fellows nowadays? They're like everywhere! A few days ago, i just got a prank call at work. He sounded like a local Indian dude. And he was like "you sound sexy. Are you sexy?" I almost barfed into the phone. Like a coward, i just went silent. I could have said "you know what's sexier? Me kicking your balls up and out your nostrils!" But i didn't. I passed the phone to my partner who yelled "CAN I HELP YOU SIR??!" That made him shrivel up. What a dumbass! This is not a chat-line muchos! And its like i don't get enough from life outside work. They're everywhere. Just because i may look abit like a Filipino and dress unflatteringly sometimes, does not mean i'm about to start dating construction workers. So please do not keep trying to peek over my friend's shoulder. Brr.. It gives me the chills. I'm gona have to learn some martial arts. But first, i gotta master reaching my toes.

With the F1 coming up. Its like racing fever everywhere. Well, i for one, am not that hyped up. I mean, those things are really fast. And they make really loud noises. And that makes me nervous. Loud noises. I got to see a glimpse of the race last year. And i was just praying "please don't crash, please don't crash" Cos the sound would be a thousand times louder and i have no idea how i'm gonna survive That shock. But in the light of the event, it is a great tourist attraction. Yay! for the economy!

"Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery (http://cute-quotes.com/life/quotes_of_life_010.htm)

Makes you think doesn't it? If not this might be funny for you:

Excuse me, sir, but you're sitting on my body, which is also my face. - Spongebob Squarepants

Hehe! La-gon! (Thats 'goodbye' in Thai...oooh)

Blimey, Harry

2009-06-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh this blog is so dead. Much like my social life.
No matter how i try, i can't seem to put any spice into my life. Maybe i'm too lazy, or too scared. I'm so bored out of my mind you can't imagine.

Wow Harry Potter is coming soon. I can feel it, my craze is coming back. I get really pissy if anyone dares to diss Harry Potter. And i get mad if anyone 'download' it. We have to protect the authenticity of Harry Potter. We must make sure it is the best fantasy movie there is. It must beat Lord of the Rings, and Twilight and all the others of the same consistency.

I am a pure nerd. Once, in primary school, i wore the Harry-Potter-like glasses (which has no degrees whatsoever) and used henna to create a lightning bolt shape on my forehead. Pretty crazy huh. haha

I miss having no responsibilities. Some people at my age still have that privilege. Lucky bastards.

XOXO
Fadz

Overfishing Causes Climate Changes

2009-04-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not eating beef anymore! Can't keep killing the cows.
I'm displaying this so that i wont be tempt into eating Rendang when Raya comes (please remind me that i can't eat it). Bye bye double-cheeseburger plain (the way i like it). Anyway, i don't eat mutton and pork(of course). So, not eating beef should be easy. I can't give up chicken yet, this might take longer. Chicken is delish! Fish, is really beneficial, so i'll still have it for now.

Lately, the days have gone really fast, in a blink of an eye, four months have passed. Gosh, is this what the Islamic signs of Qiyamat meant when they said, a day would feel like minutes. Makes you stop and think doesn't it? That life after death is more meaningful than life here on Earth. Sometimes we all know this, but we can't seem to avoid what we know is wrong. Including me, i am one to talk. I'm not having a morbid fascination, just self-realization.

Lately, no special being from the male species have come to my life. Which i only have my non-socializing life to blame. Whatever. Cept for the China guy who asked for my number. But please go and bathe and brush teeth first can? (Hope he's not reading this)

Till then,
Love,
Fadz

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy

Current Disposition

2009-02-10T02:54:00.000-08:00

I'm not using 82922227 anymore.
So Please do not contact me there.
I lost my phone in a public toilet.. Haish. I know, super careless. Many people have commented, "If your head is not attached to your body, you will lose it too"
Sad but true. So i'm currently uncontactable. So detached from the outside world.

I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" recently.
And oh man did i just realise that Brad Pitt is Oh-So Hot. Great backdrop and acting. A heart touching story of a man who lives life backwards. A must watch i must say.

Well. Thats it for now..

Change

2009-02-02T22:59:00.001-08:00

I think its time for change.
Can't stay stagnant and contented with a mundane life.
Gotta be thankful for life and accept all that comes with it.
What came and whats to come is fate.
Gotta fine tune influences in life.
Only those worthy are allowed in.
Accept own self, flaws and all.

Did i say hot? I mean 'not'

2008-12-08T04:24:00.001-08:00

Aloha

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."

Got this quote from the words of wisdom application. Its almost completely true. That is why there are more and more bimbos going on here cos guys would do them in a heartbeat. HAH.

Went out last night. Realised that Singaporeans are not hardcore party people. Its the foreigners who know how to live it up. Saw lots of foreigners picnicing at night. What a sight. And drunk foreigners, scary sight. So, learnt my lesson, stay home at night.

Saw an ex-schoolmate in the cinema, he was trying some lame pick-up line "if you scared, can come sit here" pointing to the seat next to him. Then when he realised its me he was like, "haiya. Its you". Ya, Thanks Man! Real sweet.

Alrightey then, till next time.. Oh and another quote:

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. "

xoxo
FadzLina

I remember..

2008-12-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

I remember, it was about four years ago. I was possibly 14 or 15 years old. I was in the family car of Faiza's family. So it was me, Faiza, Pak Long and Mak Long. We were in Malaysia driving around looking for the tailor's to make hari raya clothes. When all of a sudden, the car died. Totally in the middle of nowhere. Well, actually along the pathway and coincidentally near a car repair shop. So i had to get down and push the car. Yea you read it right, me, pushing the car. haha. Faiza got out too, to do some hand signals to the other passing cars. It looks like crap to me but hey, the cars understood her. A kind man stopped his car and helped me push. Of course, looking at a 36kg girl pushing a 7 seater car can push people to tears. haha. Then we got it repaired and we thanked the man for helping us and for not mugging us.

Theres no moral of the story. Just a nice flashback. And also how hard it is to find kind people like that in Singapore. I mean seriously, being considerate is already a challenge to us, what more, being helpful.

There was a crazy guy in bus 63 the other day. Actually he's always there whenever i take the bus in the morning. But thankfully i don't take the bus all the time cause he can seriously piss people off. He would sit on the isle seat and he would stick out his leg when people walk past him. Like what the hell? You trying to kill someone man? And sometimes he would smile and say 'hi' randomly or even shake hands. There was once when an Indian gangster guy around his mid-20s possibly, came in the bus and almost tripped cause of the crazy dude. I could see he was pissed. He gave the crazy dude the 'death stare'. It was a stare that says "If we were alone right here in this bus, i would rip you into pieces and eat you up". i felt kind of sorry for the crazy guy actually so i gave the Indian gangster the "c'mon that guy is obviously not right in the head. so if you bully him, i'm gonna.. i'm gonna...call the police" kind of stare. But i'm not so sure if he understood the stare. Maybe he might think that i'm checking him out. Yea it was a fruitful journey.

Anyways, life has been real mundane lately since i started working. Always looking forward to the weekend. Hoping to be able to 'partayy'. Also looking for the right people to spend it with.

I do not know how many guys i have to go through to get that they are all full of shit. I think there will always be that part of a girl's life where she gets tired of men and just completely shut them off. Some would look for woman partners, others would get a pet. Maybe i would just work my ass off. What a crappy crappy feeling i'm having.

So....Imma take off now.. Till next time ya.. Thanks for reading..

xoxo
FadzLina

Yea

2008-10-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

I just realised recently that there are actual people who read my blog. Hehe. so i'm gonna write stuff for them to read.

So my birthday jus passed quite a while ago. And i am really touched that there was quite a number of people who remembered. You see, i always forget people's birthdays so i was kind of expecting them to do the same to me. But they're wonderful and i'm gonna do my best to remember people's birthdays from now on.

So these were the beautiful people who celebrated my birthday with me. And fadzilah. But we didnt take pictures on that day so..:

Hari raya was fine.. Not a festivity person so wasn't really very exciting..but i love the kuih and all. To me, the receiving money part isnt a big deal. Them aunties just keep asking if i work or not. If don't want to give, don't give..

me and my bro

Thats all then.

Right on Track..

2008-08-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

oooh! Got a new kitty.. hee hee. But oh so tiring to take care of. Its a girl and so tiny like the palm of my hand. She's really cute but really difficult to take care of. My brother found her at Geylang when she was about to be eaten by another cat. And we named her "kitty". I know, not very original.. oh well..

Went to eat pizza hut yesterday. Yum yum.. And learnt to play pool. I daresay, i am quite a fast learner.

Been having no significant other for almost a month now. Kind of a beautiful state to be in. This time, i'm going to take my time to make a good choice. haha! Yea.. I think i'm always rushing into things. Commitment is a huge deal. And its not easy as it looks. Maybe i'm not mature enough. So now, i'm going to position all my energy in other areas of my life.

This week, I'm going to Shakthi's sister's school as a volunteer to help teach children with learning deficiency. Really glad to be part of this and also afraid that i may not be well-received by the children. Yah.. may i have a pleasant time. Right, so now i'm off to see that codeine teacher of mine..

black comedy

2008-08-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

Rushed my assignment like crazy.. i think i literally handed in 2000 words of rubbish. But at least its done. I had fun in class yesterday. Didnt pay attention at all to the zzz teacher. I drew some, okay lots, of murder plans of my ex-boyfriend on my notes. haha. I'm starting to think i might have a criminal mind. Which is scary.

Nuff of that. Did my field placement at a vocational institute. Wow, the experience was an eye opener. But in the end i know they're beautiful people who just needs some attention and love. Wish i could have more time with them. Still got a long list of places to do my field placement. So looking forward to an emotion-draining three months.

Gosh I'm so drop dead broke. My pockets are as dry as a prune. Its like i wish i could sell my kidney or something, but i wont. Gotta get a job after this school ends. I was actually considering a road sweeper job. Which clearly shows how desperate i am. haha but i wont do that too.

I hate Rachael Ray show. She and her stupid puns. I hate puns. Its so difficult to understand. Complicated jokes are a laughter-killer. Heres an example of a complicated joke a guy tried to use on me:

Me: I need to go to the toilet.
Him: Oh.. you're gonna make a deposit to Mr Tan..
Me: huh?
Him: you know, "Tan" as in Tandas.. haha! (clearly the only one laughing)

Don't get it? I don't either. Death to stupid puns and complicated jokes! And may my murder plans work! (kidding ya..)

Oh and one more thing.. there was a bug on Yimeng's hair and i took a picture of it. But he doesn't know.. hehe

Ciao!

School and stuff

2008-07-14T02:53:00.000-07:00

Hey heys..

Gosh i'm so excited for my diploma to be finally completed but damn! this last module is super hard.. Full of weird terms that we haven't come across with. Plus the teacher is so...zzz.. you know what i mean. Can't help but space out most of the time in class. Gonna start my field placement soon. Kinda scared to face the real world of social work. Being inexperienced and looking like a 15 year old makes me feel worse.. Still excited though, cause i love helping. Giving back to the society.. and all that jazz. hehe

Most of my friends and relatives don't really know what i'm doing. "So you're schooling? Or are you working? Ok, so you're schooling where is it again?" Guess my little school-hopping from Jc to private to poly to private again gets confusing for people. hehe. So i'll always answer as briefly as i could, " yeah, schooling. gotta go to the toilet excuse me."

Ouh ya.. And i'm not with the Chinese dude anymore. Cause it was so drama.. But it was fun while it lasted.. We're still good friends though. Ouh ya.He's gotten fat too.. hehe!

That's all for now..

Some Friend

2008-07-07T01:43:00.000-07:00

What a lousy friend. I hate him! For what he did to me. And pretending that nothing happened. Gosh! It is so unexpected. So much for "best friend". Liar! Maybe its revenge. But at least i had the courtesy to tell in advance. Who would ask someone out and then forget about it? Only a lousy friend. thats what. gosh i cant even look at him. I gave him like a long time to come and apologise to me but no..... He jus thought that nothing happened. Guess what, i erased you from my phone. Ha!! You don't know what you're missing, buddy! I am one hell of a good company!

Haish, i really cared for this friend. Like genuinely. Guess some people just don't treasure friendships. Its okay, Karma will get you! If not, God will!

Uncanny world ain't it

2008-05-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

Hey.. I update again!

Hmmm.. I dun have much to do nowadays.I'm trying to find a relaxing job. Where theres no stress involved. I believe it exists somewhere..

Niways, been trying to pick up a hobby. Can't do collecting stuff cos i'm untidy, things get messy and i get mad. Thought of some kind of exercise.. But i don't really have the energy for it (lazy). So, i've decided to watch tv. haha.. Since i quit my job, i've finally got time to be with my beloved television. I've just realised that i have teletext. Yimeng told me that all TVs have teletext. Which i didn't know. Its realyy interesting actually.. Theres news, toto results, television menu. Theres even a dating thingy going on. Its really funny.. There was a guy who said "I'm 36 Indian man looking for men out there" haha! I dunno it sounds funny to me. Theres another one that says "Hello I am gay". So, what i'm trying to say is that televsion is educational. Absolutely.

Besides that, i go to the library sometimes. I love books.. Two days ago, there was a kid, he looks 14 years old, Indian mix with Malay i think, he was trying to pick up girls i think.
Heres how it goes:

Kid: Excuse me, What time isit?
Me: Hmm 4.30
Kid: Can speak Malay?
Me: Ya.
Kid: Indonesian?
Me: No. (giving a weird look)
Kid: Oh malay uh. So what are you doing? Just reading?
Me: (Holding up my book) yes. (getting annoyed)
Kid: Which secondary school are you in?
Me: No. I'm 18. (trying to tell him "i'm too old for you")
Kid: (surprised) me too!
And then he walked away..
What a scary little kid. They think the library is some kind of a nightclub or something uh.

okay then.. gotta go do my assignment..damn.

Memoirs of a Fainéant

2008-05-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

Heys! I've decided to blog today!

Well life has been such a whirlwind recently.. I don't really want to talk about it.. Learnt alot from these experiences. I'm a fool.. yea.. moving on..

Havent watched any movies recently, gosh, my reputation as a movie queen would be tarnished. haha! I love movies, i'ts like escaping reality for that two hours right into the world on the screen. Oh, such joy.

Had a picnic with my ex-colleagues. Kinda miss the airport job. Not the part where i have to force myself to stay awake doing nothing at night, or the snobby passengers, but the people, very interesting colourful friends i had. I'll show you some pics:

Thats me and Jacqueline.. She's from India, Pondecherry (not sure how its spelled). She's my Wang Cafe buddy hehe..Love that tea!

Thats Cecilia. My supervisor. She's such a funny lady and really caring and motherly. Just what i need.. haha. In the background is Eve, another supervisor. She loves auditing..which is quite scary.

That's Sharifah, the big sister i never had. She's such a fun person to be with. We always had juicy gossips to share.. hee..

Thats Vicky. She's from China. Not sure which part. She's a really classy lady. She can tie her hair with no hairband. She's my minesweeper buddy. She always win and when she win she'll say "I wing!" haha..cute..

Thats the F1 racing shop. Its really nice and red. My favourite colour..

I know this picture is very small. I'm too lazy to edit it. But if you can strain your eyes a little bit, you'll see, on the right is Auntie Diane. The Pro-massager! She massages people and wont stop even if you're screaming in pain..

Just thought i'd show my favourite workplace.. hehe my Only workplace..

I'll update soon.. I guess :)

Thoughts - Fresh from the oven

2008-02-16T11:46:00.000-08:00

Valentine’s day
Valentine’s day was nice. I got flowers! I’ve never gotten flowers before. hmm.. It was pleasant. Thank you yimeng.

Haircut
I got a new haircut.. haha! I know what you’re thinking, lots of people call me Egyptian or they thought my hair is a wig or a helmet. Gosh, I hope its not That bad. Niways, it’s a nice change for me and it makes me feel a little different about myself.

Work
Still hating it. Can’t wait to leave!! Gosh everyone here is driving me nuts. So much corruption under one roof. No one can be trusted here. When you do a kind deed for someone, they’ll repay with sticking a knife on your back. Geez. The world has really turned to the dark side. Its hard to find a nice person nowadays. Someone save me please.

Movie
I watched P.S I love you yesterday. Its about a husband who left some letters and surprises for her wife to deal with his death. Its so romantic but sad. Its only suitable for those who like tear-jerkers and romance. I still feel sad thinking about the movie. I’d be so devastated if I was her. Haish.. :(

Other thoughts
Theres something about Malay songs, you know. It gives me a sort of weird feeling in my belly. No its not diarrhoea, sort of like butterflies in my stomach, its something psychological. Malay songs remind me of my childhood or some sad incident which I can’t figure out what. So I don’t listen to them cos it just drains away my happiness. Weird but true. So when I say I don’t listen to Malay songs, I’m not trying to act all western… its just a syndrome I’m suffering from. Hee..

That’s all for now, pals.. I’ll type again soon.

Bitch Fit

2008-01-18T13:47:00.000-08:00

Why do people get to get away with almost anything just because they’re rich? Or because they own this and that or the customer of whatever shit. It’s so embarrassing that they call themselves high class when their attitude is as classy as a donkey’s arse.

There was this irritating guy who came to my counter saying that he lost something. So I asked for his name but it wasn’t found and he got so pissed off. We asked for his name again and he got more pissed. I can’t blame him, his name was butt ugly. Gosh.. and just because of that he was getting a bitch fit. “I’m gonna write a letter! I wana talk to your manager!” Geez. He definitely has some issues. Arrogance won’t get him anywhere. People like him should be ashamed of themselves. What happened to character and gentlemanliness? Where has the value of humility gone to? Anyways, I wrote a poem for the annoying man.

Just because you fly first class
doesn’t make you a king.
Showing off your big fat arse
Its really embarrassing.

Gosh! You’re so annoying!
As if you’re so divine.
You are so irritating!
I really hate your kind.
No one cares if you’ve got a big wallet,
If your face is so revolting.
If i ever see you outside
I’ll make sure you get a beating.

With an attitude like yours,
I’d probably go to jail
You can do anything of course.
You got the money to make a bail.

“Don’t make me repeat myself”
that’s what that bastard said.
Who the hell do you think you are?
The president of the United states?

Its people like you who makes life hell,
I hope your death comes soon.
Cause the world would be so much better
Without a son of a bitch like you.

hehe. no offence dewd.

...What's left of me...

2008-01-17T12:16:00.000-08:00

I was browsing through several of my friends’ blogs and I realised that only one or two of them still kept my blog address. I was quite sad actually. But I know. . I hadn’t been blogging since God knows when! ...Life, for me has been so different lately. Reading my friend’s blog and reminiscing those times in secondary school really makes me feel so lonely all of a sudden. Quite depressing really. Here I am typing away at 2am all alone in Changi airport.

Time goes by so fast. It’s almost like a blur. Come to think of it, I’ve stepped into adulthood without even noticing it. In school, I’m surrounded by adults. At work, there are more adults. My boyfriend, well, he’s quite like an adult you know. When you’re surrounded by all these adults, you can’t help but act like them. It’s suffocating if you try to be that inconsiderable amount of identity left in you. I miss being myself.

I’m so quick-tempered nowadays and I feel like I’m 30 years old or something. I said “fuck!” out loud while going out the mrt cos the stupid boarding passengers can’t see the yellow sign that freaking said,” Please Give Way To Alighting Passengers”. Geez! ...My face always looks like I’ve got dung under my nose when I’m alone. I frown so often, people might recommend me some botox. I’m so different now.

We are who we are because of our environment... I don’t have as much friends as I had a year ago. Its just me, my boyfriend and occasionally, Shakthi my classmate. Sometimes I get along with some colleagues. But most of them just enjoy bullying me (gosh this sounds so pathetic). Assertiveness is what i'm lacking..along with money. herkk...

I wish my personality will come back to me... I’ve turned into a granny in a year! How nice.

Life's a Blur

2007-06-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since my last annoying post. hahaks.

School
Yes people. I quit jc. Say it. . i'm screwed. hah! But i have a back-up plan. ain't gona tell till u ask. Anyway i think it is only right for someone to pursue somethin they are interested in. Yes i am a human rights believer.
I'm still working at the airport. Everyday, i have at least 2 people asking me "why u quit jc???"
It gets annoying to really to explain over and over again. The answer is it 'doesnt suit me'.

Yimeng
3months and goin strong. Hee! though we've been havin petty arguments that lead to serious discussions. i admit i'm the one who always start it and end up with him apologising. He's amazing aint he. I think i have some insecurity issues. I love him to bits and pieces. Last week we fed the cats around my neighborhood. It was romantic even with the fishy turkeyish smell. hahaks. I think after all my experimenting i've finally got a successful result. I don't know what i'd do without him.

Now
Well now my life's pretty slack. either i'm sitting around all day or at work in the airport. Cant wait till my new sch starts. My dad's terribly mad at me. I'm sorry but i can't pursue your dreams for you. Haish. .

After a long holiday from blooging. I realise i really don't have much to say. Ouh well. Till next time!
Lots of love,
FadzLina

TuesDay

2007-05-15T04:33:00.000-07:00

I hate school. Its sucks.

Every moment of it is slitting my throat slowly but surely. Its sucking my soul out.

I'm goin crazy.

Somebody save me.

[if! supportEmptyParas>>>>>endif>>]

hEy hey You you

2007-04-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

Gosh. Major brain block. Overloaded.

'So much to do, so little time. But thankfully, enough time to complain about having no time to do it all.' (quoted in '10 absolutely nothing excercises', a book.)

Seriously, these few days has been like a blur to me. There was so much homework, lectures, camp, airport work. Damn i have no life! Well actually i do. I have TOO Much going on in my life to be precise. Okay let me high-light some wonderful moments. . hehehx

English Debate club camp
It was a night thingy. From 7pm to 11am. It was okay. . Fun really. The most interesting part was the night walk. I have to admit i'm a scaredy cat when it comes to walking alone in a school which is almost 18years old without lights at 2am. There were 2nd years dressed up as ghosts just to make it more interesting.
I was actually doing well until the part where we had to walk along the locker corridor. It was pitch black except for some pathetic skinny little lightsticks on the ground which were already dying. I turned at a corner to find myself facing a dark corridor which was dimly litted at the other end. And there she sat. A girl covered in long black cloth with her back facing me. She was crying. The sound echoed throughout the school. Of course i knew it was a 2nd year student. But still it was scary! There i was walking towards her muttering any prayers i know that comes to my mind. I was relieved when i walked past her until i looked back and saw her crawling after me. I shrieked and screamed and jumped up and down. She was shocked and took off her cloth and said, "hey relax. Its just me!"
yEah. pretty embarassing.

Hahahahks. . Kays i gotta go now. Will update soon.

Lots of love,
FadzLina

2007-04-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

hey hey. .

its nano here. hahaks. . i'm stressed out wit studies!! i took mc today
feverish. i hope i dun mis out on anything much. . hmmmm
gtg too stresed to ype now. i'll be updating soon. .

bubye!!
FadzLina

Holla at a player

2007-03-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

Hahlo!! Finally i'm blogging. .Gosh. .So much has happened.

I'm in SRJC now. . Its okay larh. . I hated it at first but its geting adaptable. .I made a good friend there, her name is Amelia but sadly. . . Shes transferring to Millenia Ins. . So sad. In my class of only 19 people, theres only 4 girls and if she goes away, ther'll be three. Last week was CCA day. I signed up for Netball, Touch Rugby and Rock Climbing. Wow so sporty?? NOT. I didn't go for any of the trials. . In the end i joined the English Debate society. . haha doing public speaking. I'm such a nerd.
I bought the uniform already.. kinda suck. .

My latest squeeze--> Tan Yi Meng. hahak! No larh. . this is not my usual 5 days 4 days thing. . next week would be one month. . wee! I heart him. . I know what i've said about Chinese guys or Chinese for that matter. Well. . Never say never cos this is what you'll get. . exactly what you want to avoid. But hes amazing. tHe best thing that has ever happened to me.

Alrite. Thats it for now. Until next time when i finally get a hold of internet access. I'm so deprived.

Lots of Love,
FadzLina

I'm using Syafiqah's(my cousin) laptop now. . Ceh ceh. . hehehe. Well

Eh Eh

2007-02-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

I passed o levels.
Well its not outstanding. But it'll do.
L1r4=14 L1r5=19

I'm happy.

What Men Really Really Want

2007-02-11T02:55:00.000-08:00

Yea i asked that question to my cousin who has 2-digits ex-boyfriends. Her answer was short, sharp, simple = Sex and Money.

I was taken aback. Like what?? All my beautiful prospect on males was shattered right there and then. I guess she was being a little prejudiced, a little bias. I mean, not all guys are like that right? Right. Those guys who aren't are either sissys or gays.

I know its harsh but its probably the truth. A male friend of mine, who is pretty good-looking once said "If she doesnt have money, but the looks then i'll go for sex. If she has money but no looks, then i'll go for money. If she has both, well, double happiness!" He probably would have been given a full smack on the face if he wasnt my friend.

To men who go for women only for sex and money = Imagine someone doing that to your sister or aunt or mother. How does it make you feel? Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
To those who go for quality than quantity = Props to you!

I know what you're thinking. Some girls actually let it happen to themselves. It takes two hands to clap. Well at least we are now more aware of what most males really want. And we'll have to choose wisely. But don't let this be a reason to turn lesbian. Never give up on your sexuality.

yea. Okay cool.

Lotsa Love,
FadzLina

In case I lost my train of thought

2007-01-14T08:25:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow humans!

I'm back from depression
coz i read this book dat released my tension.
Its from the Bedok library,
its called 'how to be happy'.
I love 'how to' books
i know it clashes with my good looks.
but it definitely helps
for someone like my self.

So how? Good rhyming? hahahah. Crap! I'm trying to write like my cousin, Hafiz. He rhymes. Seriously. Check out his blog.

Anyway, went shopping just now with Faiza. Feels great you know. Retail therapy. Haish. Except for one moment when we were so engrossed discussing about sales that we almost entered the male toilet. Thank God there wasn''t anybody in there! Talk about embarrassment. Geez. Though i love the male toilet. The fountain thing looks interesting.

My immunisation has been pretty damn low these few days. Stomach flu, fever, loss of appetite. I'm dying. Haha. But then again, who isn't? I can't even finish my cheese fries. Come on! Cheese fries was my life! I'm shrinking by the day. Soon, i might just disappear.

I think i'm suffering from a disease widely known as, "overthinking".
MY BRAIN NEVER SHUTS UP!
Its driving me insane. Theres like this voice that talks and talks and talks. Sometimes telling me to do stupid things. Once, it wanted me to throw my ez-link card into the drain. Another time, it wanted me to jump onto the MRT tracks. It took all my will power to stop myself. Thank God, God protects me. I must not succumb to this madness. I'm NOT CRAZY. Just disturbed. Hah. I'm okay. Really.

Alright then. I'm gonna get some shuteye. Till next time.

nuts about,
FadzLina

emm

2007-01-05T03:55:00.000-08:00

Do you know that I have a job? its really fun. I feel like i have a purpose in this world. haha. Anyway, its a little bit crappy. but ok. Too bad zul is not working near me. Btw why you didn't reply my messages?? haha. Must be too busy with his Junior college.

I can't seem to find anything to blog about right now. Theres so many things thats happening but none that i want to publish. I'm scared. I'm scared of what others think of me. I know thats a bad quality to have but i can't help it. I'm not as nice as people think. I have my bad side. But i try hard. Try to be what others expect me too.
Please don't be angry with me. I can't make good decisions. I've hurt peole. Badly. I don't mean to. Really, my intention is to be happy and for others to be happy.

My parents are going to kill me. I'm theír worst nightmare. But i can't run away this time. Can i?

oH my God, its so annoying how some people reply messages with one word. sometimes not even a word. example:

me: have u eaten?
someone: yup
me: u bz?
someone: nop
me: how's sch?
someone: ok
me: bye gtg take care
someone: emm

see??? how annoying is that. urgh. Anyway.. i have to go. until next time, God knows when.

xoxo,
FadzLina

Hellohh

2006-12-15T02:18:00.000-08:00

The post below about being in love?
Bullshit. It was totally crap. Don't even wanna think about it.
Its like i predicted, i will sink before i swim. Maybe i should learn to look before i jump. Okay, enough of the idiotic idioms.

Couldn't find the time to blog. Anyway. prom was okay. I realised i haven't got time for lots of people. Recently i've offended my dad really badly and its like i'm made his arch enemy or something. Why do i do this to myself?

This holiday is turning out to be a real bore. Something unusual happened last Thursday. I was totally bored out at home. All my megazines and books were read, television was crap. So i did some Amath. Hahah. Weird i know. The thing i usually dread to do, i actually had fun doing.

Sometimes i can't sleep at night thinking about my o'levels result. Pray for me kay everybody?

Had the weirdest dream yesterday, something about underwear. I dunno i think i've had a lot of dreams about being naked in public loads of time. That explains my phobia of embaressment. ahahah. ha. Also had a dream once about jumping off a building. But dreams are fun. Its like watching a virtual-reality television.

Okay then thats it for now.

Kisses and Misses,
:.Fadzlina.:

Memoranda

2006-11-28T01:38:00.000-08:00

The butterfly in the stomach feeling.
I'm feeling it.
The 'smile for no reason symptom'
I'm experiencing it.
Yup u guessed it.
I'm i love. Hopelessly in love.
Haha i'm so mushy i freak myself out.
This happens alot u knoe. Like once a month. Infatuation. Thats what it is.

Met him last Saturday. So Hot! But you know what people say about good-looking guys they're the most coldest, meanest and girl-dumping type.
But i cant help it. I know what you're thinking. Why do i willingly put myself in a position where i'll definiely get hurt? I'm wondering myself. I have a date this Sat. Stay tuned for the analysis. hahah.

I'm so relieved that O'levels is over. I dun think i'll ever say this especially this soon, I miss school! I miss falling asleep in chemistry class, gossiping in Mother-tongue class, arriving late for physics, copying math homework and wearing the same outfit day after day.
This holiday, most of my time is spent sleeping and watching the television. How exciting.

My dad. He's driving me mad. He keeps talking to me about stuff i don't really understand. Or don't want to understand. So i'll always say,"ya, you're rite dad" Even though i don't know what he's right about exactly. Hé talks about stuff like "when i was young...bla..." The worst part is, he's under the illusion that he's got a sense of humour. Thank god i was in drama club, so i can always do the fake chuckle. Poor guy. But he's nice though. Very nice.

Prom's this Thursday. Got the outfit ready. Though it sucked my pockets dry. Kinda nervous. What if i fall on my head right in front of everybody? Not a very classy entrance, i know. But i've had too many experiences like those. Help!

Well, till here then. I will update soon.

p.s : I love washouts.

23 Questions

2006-10-26T00:56:00.000-07:00

Some questions i have to answer coz i've been tagged.

1. Single,taken or crushing?
Single and crushing.. hahahh

2. Are you happy with your life?
Sure am. I have all i need, great friends and a wonderful family! Now all i need is a good o'level certificate.

3. When you meet the right person, will you fall for him/her fast?
Guess so.. Hmm see first larh uh.

4. Have you had your heart broken?
Many times.. Taufik?!! You're getting married?? How could you??!

5. Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
Definitely not. Unless you're drunk and happens to walk into a prostitute.

6. Would you talk to someone back when he/she has cheat on you?
Yea sure... make friends not enemies rite? Though i'll definitely have images of his horrific death scenarios in my head while talking to him. muahaha

7. Have you talked to another person about marriage before?
Yea.. Usually about me becoming Mrs Taufik Batisah.

8. Do you want children?
Why not? Well hmmm we'll see about that uh..

9. How many do you want?
Around 2oo? I can make an army!! hahaha Jk..

10. Would you consider adoption?
If i'm fortunate enough.. sure

11. If someone likes you right now, what is the best way for him/her to tell you his/her feelings?
Maybe sing for me thë "Will you be my girlfriend?" song.. hahaha

12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
Depends.

13. Be honest, what did you and your ex did?
We joined Ex-men!

14. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah.. No such thing

15. Are you romantic?
Hmm.. Dunno..Ask the Ex-men!!

16. Do you believe you can change someone?
Absolutely do.. I have strong interpersonal skills..

17. If you could marry somewhere, where would it be?
In outer space! Coz our love would be so out of this world!! hahha (lame)

18. Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
No... I'll make sure the other person cry first.

19. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Hmmm..

20. Have you ever wished you could have someone but you messed it up?
Nah.. HE messed it up..

21. Have you broken a heart?
Hope not.

22. One day, if your best friend falls in love with he/she you are deeply in love with, what would you do?
Move on and get a better one. There are millions of males out there.

23. Are you missing someone right now?
Yes! I miss My buddies, Zakiah Shikin, Syafiqah, Hardy. After my exams we'll catch up kae??

END

what if its a little too late?

2006-10-13T03:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i can't sleep. Because i'm too afraid. What if 'll never wake up? I'm not ready to face questions in the grave. Not ready to leave my family and friends. Will they care when i'm gone? Will you?

Its so Random it should be banned

2006-10-06T03:03:00.000-07:00

Taufik's getting married?? Izit true? Well, screw him.

What does a 'time out' realli mean? Its so stupid. Might as well end it.

Why do people type Tml when that means tomolo? what the heck is tomolo?

I need ANSWERS!

Taufik!!

2006-09-28T05:21:00.001-07:00

i love u! i love u! i love u!

My apologue

2006-09-28T03:45:00.000-07:00

Now is the moment to sprint. Yea, its the last league of the race. So i gotta get my game rite. OMG, how embarassing it was. I asked Mr Ng to tutor me with Emath's transformations. Coz i completely SUCK at it.

So i was in the library with Mr Ng when Salleh, the tall guy came over.

Salleh: Mr Ng, who got A1 arh? (with a smirk on his face).
Mr Ng: Go away larh, go away.
Me: He got an A1?Salleh: (smiling and rubbing his chest)
Mr Ng: Yea, thats why he's so happy, now go away.
Salleh: How much you got Fadzlina? (smiling wider)
Me: (blushing) I can't recall.
Mr Ng: Go away larh, go away. (it seems to be his favourite phrase)
Salleh: Ouh c'mon c'mon Fadzlina.. TELL ME TELL ME.
Me: I dunno (Turning as red as a tomato)
Mr Ng: Go away larh.. (with hand actions now)
Salleh: U failed?
Me: No.Salleh: (walked away, smiling EVEN wider)

FYI, i didn't fail. I got a B3 ok. But its so embarassing when my other subjects are preposterous. And i can't even get an A for Emath. Which reminds me of my new shitty situation. I have to come back to school five days a week during the study break because i failed my Amath. Darn it. How am i gonna cope? I can only study at night where the surrounding environment is calm and peaceful Free of annoying brother's and cats, alluring, hypnotising power of TV, the over-worryness of my grandma and the over-the shoulder inspection of parents. Í guess i have to sacrifice sleep.

BTW, i PASSED my physics! For the first time in my Life! Amazing! Extraordinary! What a marvelment! hehehe.. I guess hard work pays off. I was studying till 4am you know.. I realise i'm not smart. So i gotta work extra extra hard. Unlike those who have been blessed with excellent brains.

My birthday was yesterday. It wasn't a big affair. I was okay with the minimal celebrations because this is a critical period in my life. My parents wanted to take me to Bedok corner for dinner but i arrive home late. Ouh well, theres always next year. I realli appreciate all the Birthday messages i received from people who care for me. I feel so loved. haha. I even made a folder for all the birthday messages. Thank u people!

Fasting month is great. I feel cleansed. Since theres no Satan around, i realise i'm more calm and more patient. I wish fasting month is 2 months. hehe Rite then. Long entry uh? looks like my spirit is uplifted. Kaes..

XOXO,
fadzlina~

2006-09-21T23:05:00.000-07:00

Prelims are over. Nows the start for intense preparation to O'levels. These few days i've been sleeping really late into the morning. Thank god for my cats who keep me company. I love the examination hall. Its where i get to observe people (and do my paper of course).

Hari Raya's not gonna be much of a big deal for me this year.. Probably just go out on the first day and thats it.

Hmm.. actually kinda not in the mood to blog. Well i've been 'not in the mood' for so many things these few days. I guess its that part of my life when i realise the other side of the coin. Stressed with school too. Whos not anyway?

Yea.. so i'm juz gonna go stare at some wall or something... haaha

Sometimes what is really hurting me is my perception of things.

Random facts bout me

2006-09-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

Still an avid fan of Taufik Batisah.
Favourite Vitagen/Yakult flavour is grape.
1.56m tall.
Have only one dimple.
Able to burp the alphabet.
Hates Shark fin's soup. Its inhumane.
Shoe size is 4-5.
Favourite colour is all shades of red.
Once wanted to be a policewoman.
Desired height is 1.65. (haha dream on)
In love with pizza.
Once wanted to be a vet. (until realised that i can't touch dogs)
Favourite superheroe in Justice League is Hawkgirl.
Little Britain is my new obsession.
I know nothing bout soccer except for Posh Spice's husband, yea?

the state that i am in

2006-09-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

I can never do anything right. Especially choices. No matter how hard i thought through or if its a reflex choice, i'm doomed.

Blood or water? Was the choice i had to make. But my 'blood' left me and i only have water. Am i going to lose it too? I chose to keep the water. But the blood came back. And saw that i chose the water and got pretty mad. And left me forever and ever.

Do ignore the above paragraph if it makes you go "huh?" Anyway. Back to my self-expression or some people might call whining. I feel like crap. I feel like i've been putting on a facade. I want to be the real me. But i wonder which one is the real me? The rebel who wants to break all the rules and have fun? The goody-two-shoes who stays at home and studies? The enemy, two-faced, hypocrite, bastard, liar? I'm on a journey to find myself but fact is i'm never there. Never existed. Choices. Very important life-changers. And i have trouble with it. I've always believed that theres a reason to every consequence. Where's my sense of direction? Recently i've gone against my principles and i hate the state that i am in. I'm the person i despise most. I feel like i'm at the bottom of the food chain

Now all that i can ask for is to pick up the pieces of my broken up life. Put it all back together. If i can't have my best friend back, I accept it. I wish that God will give me another friend. This time, I promise will never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. Amin.

2006-09-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

Hey people.. Been super busy lately.. and very bored.. I hate the situation that my life is in right now..

Family
My mom and dad has their occasional fights. My Grandma cries when my brother is rude. My brother is still destroying my things.. Sometimes when i'm at home i feel really really bored and find all the reasons in the world to go out. Which is not a good idea especially now..

School
Stress, stress, stressed.

Friends
My school friends have been great. They're a mad bunch of people to hang out with. Fadzilah treated me to Swensen's for my birthday.. its an advance thing.. Thanks alot Fadzi!
My outside school friends.. I've nt met them much.. No time..
My Best friend in Pri 3 invited me to her sister's engagement tomorrow.. I haven't seen her since pri 5.. Damn i'm nervous.. i hope it goes well.
I've made 2 people hate me. Haizz...Its all my fault. I'm such a piece of crap.. damn my self-esteem is as low as Christina Aguilera's jeans rite now.
I'm so Sorry Nazirul. Thanks for actually caring bout me. But i can't change in a split second. Sorry. Hope we are still friends.

Okay.. thats about it.. i'm really hungry now..

*There might be spelling errors coz i'm typing on a fatally empty stomach

Ouh Brother

2006-08-16T00:37:00.000-07:00

Today i'm going to submit an entry about my brother. My brother, the most irritating creature to ever walk on earth. He's seriously out to get me or something.
He calls me 'stupid pig sis'. And he thinks its funny. He'll tell on me. He'll punch me for no reason. Sometimes i even get bruises. He'll eat my food. He abuses the cats. He's rude. He makes me angry even on Hari Raya! He's 11 by the way.

Okay.. lets see what i do to him. I call him 'babi's najis' (Pig's shit).. I like to tickle him for no reason. I hit him when he hits the cats. Once, i was so seriously furious at him at the point of exploding that i said in a cool voice, "You know you're not really my brother. We found you in a dustbin when you were a baby" I didn't think hat he was going to believe me but he did and he cried. He went to the bathroom and bathe with his clothes still intact.(pretty daramatic if u ask me). So i apologised and told him that i was lying and that is saw him coming out of my mother's ******. I also told him that i'll buy him a bar of chocolate. He stopped crying. At that moment i felt like such an evil person. I was so.. bad.. so mean. He's actually nice. Sometimes he'll buy me h2o apple at his school canteen. Sometimes he'll take for me a glass of water when i ask him to.

I guess there a good side to everybody and i hope that me and my brother won't be sworn enemies in 20 years time like my mother and her sister. I wish he'll be a little more good-mannered around me. haha. But i love him to bits!

Spend five minutes with me

2006-08-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

Its over. All over. And so fast too. I didn't have time to think straight. He brought it up, i shot him down. Theres no more Samad or Sam for that matter. It was the most dramatic phone call of my life. Don't want to elaborate more. It hurts everytime i think about that night.
Initially i hated him to the bone and never would have imagined to even be seen with him. Then, he never gave up. I gave in and i fell head over heels in love with him despite my principles and violent objections of some friends.
It was a wonderful 1 month we had. My heart was never 50/50 for you. Neither was yours for me. But how can you have let me go so easily? I thought nice guys wait around. I wasn't prepared for the full blast of rejection. I shed tears for you but did you for me? You promised me that you will never hurt me but you did. You left scars. I can never forgive you for that. Though i want to thank you for being there even though how short it was and for proving to me that love is blind.
Now i can't even look you in the eye. It would have been so much easier if you had cheated on me. It would have given me a reason to hate you. But everything that you did was right. I don't know what i'll do if i see you with someone else. And for that matter i have to say that i still love you.
I wish i have the guts to tell you all this, Farid.

p.s--Apologies to those who hate Mushy entries. I promise this will be the last!

Moshi Moshi

2006-07-31T04:18:00.000-07:00

I am soo dead beat! Every single day.. From morning till late at night its study study study. I', not complaining, i'm just stating a fact.. One night while i was in my kitchen doing some physics, i got a little bored and sleepy.. So it took some pictures of myself.. Loads of them and then i viewed the pictures and i saw that there was a 'thing'. A white 'thing' at the window in the living room.. Damn! i was soo freaked out! My mom said that its just the light.. But i think not. So from that day onwards i insist that my brother sleep in the living room.

kk Gotta go 2 nite class

2006-07-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

The night classes has been pretty tiring. Basically because i had to go back and forth. Really looking forward to tonight though coz i'm going over to my cousin's place. I'm freaking tired due to the lack of sleep i had last night. I woke up at 12 am to do my homework and only went back to sleep right before four. Life is hard. I hope all of my efforts pay off.

I have Social studies course in about 20 min.. So not looking forward. I'd rather drag my sleep-deprived body all the way back to Chai Chee for a nap. Time has travelled so fast. Its almost flying past. And i just can't seem to catch up.

From now on i'm naming Samad, Sam. Coz Samad is sounds like somebody's grandfather. haharkz. Anyway.. Sam made a scene at the bus-stop yesterday. I'm definitely not someone who practices PDA (Public display of affection). He insists though. When i just walked away, he yelled something about me being embarrassed to be seen with him. People stared. Seriously, i swear he's getting more psychotic by the day. But i still love him. God knows why.

2006-07-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

The morning bus was like codeine. I was almost drooling. Let me emphasis the ALMOST. I'm not that disgusting! Okehh.. Had a great weekend. Did my homework on Friday to win over my parents' hearts so that i could go out the next day.. hehe Went to Baybeat at the Esplanade.. It was soo ermm what the word? Happening. yEA.. There were so many different different people. There were the ones in all black, the ones in eyeliners, the ones in tattoos, the innocents'' i came here to see the show'' types, the ''I can't seem to put down my cigarette" type.. etcetera etcetara. It was a great eyeopener for a homebody like me. Though i don't think i'm in that category anymore..

Have you ever watched a stupid commercial that is sooo stupid that u can't describe it as stupid anymore? Yea, i was watching TV3 or something (a Malaysian channel).. And there was this commercial about dandruff. Smooth and Silky or something. There was a woman who is supposedly having dandruff. So she did the typical 'brush the shoulder' thing. She felt frustrated. So she used this particular shampoo and voila! no more dandruff! Wanna know the stupid part? She's wearing a headscarf all the while..

I'm going for the listening compre exam later on. So till next time.

My boyfriend is weird. Said a hundred people or so.

2006-07-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

í wanna update but i feel soooo lazy. So unenergetic.. Damn it.. these few days i've been having a very severe sore throat.. My voice sounded like some punk rocker but Samad said that it sounds sexy.. hahaha. but i don't think the MT oral examiner thinks that way but i guess i did okay..

The stress factor in school has gone over the top. I have to go to the night class thingy. Poor me.. i live so far away and i have to go back and forth. Blame me for being stupid. I really have to bring it now. Haizz.. wish i have all the enthusiasm in the world to study.

Oh i hate the 69 bus! I've already been late to school for three times.. The bus is so unconsistent. I hate unreliable public transport. And that OM just wants to make sure we latecomers taste embarrassment. I can't handle it i'm embarassment-phobic. I'll start sweating and itch. its a curse really. thats why i prefer to stay low-profile in order to avoid these situations.

ermm.. i've nothing else to say now.. gotta ciao.. goin 2 meet my cuz

17th June 06

2006-06-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

kaes.. the holidays has been spent rather foolishly. I feel guilty. Its suppose to be a study holiday. Wat thuh f*** am i doing? Usually i'm hanging out with my cousin Syafiqah who is soo damn fun. I'm always sleeping over at her place coz its like a no rules zone. We get to sleep anytime we want. My record: 8am. We also gaet to wake up anytime we want. My record: 230pm. Hahah. Rite now i'm struggling to get my homework done. Not rite now rite now. Just rite now in general.

I broke up with Samad yesterday. I told him that i totally have no feelings for him which is absolutely true. However rite after i told him the news i felt an urge to call him back and say "I made a mistake! i want you back i want u back" However i stopped myself coz i know we really are not meant to be together. sheeesh i sound overly cheesy.

Went to watch The Omen with Faiza just now. Its my 2nd time watching that movie actually but i didn't mind coz we used free tickets. It was freaking cold in there. And Faiza was so noisy. I should have brought scotchtape.. HAHA

And the winner of the best T.V show quiz is SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. Yea he rocks my socks. I'm putting up another quiz. Be sure to participate. hehe

Well i know my entries are getting as boring as Mrs Oh. But i feel like i can't truly express everything here.. Thank god i have my own personal diary. Kaes gtg..

p.s:

2006-06-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

got nothing much to blog. Though loads of stuff happened. Very heart-warming, heart-wrenching experiences. Eye openers and guilt-trips. Well i've recovered. I guess.
I love Mr. 23.

Current life queries

2006-05-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

I just can't understand soccer. There's just too many things going on. I think the only exciting part of it is the 'GOAL' part. My friends are always talking about the upcoming World Cup thingymajigs. And i'll be sitting there with my mouth hanging open. Who tha hell is Steven Gerak? Gerad? Gerard? Gerack? Well, Wat ThE hECK?!

My brother is seriously getting on my last nerve. He did something to my Mp3 and i had to reboot it. I had him convinced that he completely spoiled it so he won't be meddling with it anymore. I gave him the silent treatment too. Which was a bad idea coz he keep following me around the house screaming, " I'm really really really really really sorry" In a very sing-song way. How annoyingly irritating.

Anyway i did a quiz called 'Rate My Life"..

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6
Mind:	5.4
Body:	5.9
Spirit:	7.5
Friends/Family:	5.7
Love:	2.1
Finance:	2.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Well it seems that my life ain't that great. Especially in love and money.. haha as expected. Try it yourself and see how your life rates. the average life rate is 6.2

2006-05-25T22:12:00.000-07:00

Some stuff that makes me happy:

- Telling jokes and having people actually laugh. Its an incredible feeling.
- Listening to jokes and laughing at it. Again, its an incredible feeling.
- The way everything looks after the rain. So clean and bright.
- Receiving SMSes.
- Talking on the phone.
- The way an Indonesian speak Bahasa Indonesia. Its so cool. Usually i would stay close to Rebecca and her cousins on the bus(coz we take the same bus home). Yusa's accent is not so nice anymore. Too much Singlish influence.
- Listening to music that makes me go "yeah!"
- Dancing in front of the mirror and pretending that i'm some Kelly Clarkson. HAHA.

I think living in Chai Chee has made me more independent. For the first time, i went to the library alone. Since my school is quite far from home, I have more time to myself. It really relaxes the mind.

p.s-- I think i'm starting to like Samad ?!?!?!

2006-05-19T02:53:00.000-07:00

arghhh. I feel so.. like.. crap. shit. fuck. Its like.. really annoying. Almost Every single thing i do never comes out right. I suck at everything. In my studies, in my social life. I have no talent. Absolutely none. I know some people are going to say "Everybody has a talent.. bla.. bla.." But its a fact for me. I'm crap!
I am never happy. Maybe once a year. urgh. I don't even know why i'm blogging about this. Since nobody really cares to listen to me. I guess maybe some people might care enough to read. When i'm nice, everybody step on me. When i'm not nice, they stomp on me. I'm like a transparent useless thing.

I keep believing that everything bad that happens has a good thing behind it. I hope i'm right. Please God.

2006-05-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

I hate the way u talk to me
And the way u cut your hair
I hate the way u walk
I hate it when u stare

I hate your big brown shoes
And the way u read my mind
i hate you so much it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme

I hate it when you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry

I hate it when you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But most of all,
I hate the way that i don't hate you
Not even close
Not even a little bit
Not even at all.

Exams over!! Almost.

2006-05-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

I've finished all my exams cept for Phy and Chem paper 1. Am i confident? I DUNNO. Damn it. I studied. I really did. Izit not enough? A-math was Torture!! La tortura. haha. The Shakira song rite.. yea.. moving on.

I have lesser friends now. Coz when u reject someone, they'll naturally hate you and then their friends will hate you too. Argh!! Its not my fault.. well it is. Damn. I'm sorry x 1million. Please?

I feel good rite now. really. Dunno why.. maybe coz i'm done feeling sorry for myself. Its all part of life. Being rejected, backstabbed, being lied to, tripping over in front of people, looking like a stupid idiot on stage . Yeah its all part of life. Don't tell me you haven't experienced at least two of the above mentioned. Well i have learnt to accept it all. Because Shit happens. Usually when shit happens, they all happen at the same time. So you'll have like a whole 5kg worth of dung on your head. What you should do and what i have learnt to do is to brush it off. Brush the shit off. Its just shit. Everybody has it (literally hehe).. its just how you deal with it.

rite ok. so.. School has been.. Normal.. yea.. nothing exciting. Kinda dready really. Its been a long time since i went out to have fun or something. I'm gonna do it soon..

okla.. i'm Nur Fadzlina from Tampines St 84, signing out.

-I miss you- Does it matter?

2006-05-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

k. so rite now i'm in my school's computer lab. Coz ya.. i've got no internet connection. I don't even have a home telephone. I'M LONELY. Theres nobody that i knoe that lives around my area. I can't even call. My handphone is prepaid so i don't feel good to use my phone for calling. I guess, choices have consequences.

Everything is like a mad rush now. A mad rush to get all the facts into my head. I'm not fully prepared for SS yet. And SS mid-year is TOMORROW. Yup. At least i've finished making chem notes. But i' haven't got it in my brain. Genius.

So... today is Mad Rush Day for me. I've got to do it. I have to bring it. God Help Me.

Life is neither a spectacle nor a feast; Its a Dilemma.

Singapore General Election 2006

2006-04-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

The most electrifying event these few months is the General Election. I live in the Bedok area, so i see lots of posters of PAP and Worker's party.

Singaporeans will go to the polls on May the 6th. Not everyone can vote for this general election. You are only eligible to vote if you are a holder of a pink coloured identity card. You should also be 21 years and above and the estate that you are living in is having an opposition party. If I am eligible to participate by voting, i would vote for PAP because of various reasons.

Firstly, I respect Mr Lee Kwan Yew for being the guy who brought us to independence. With help from his teammates of course. In my opinion, without PAP, Singapore would not be the way it is today. they worked so hard, to bring us to where we are today. If they lose to another party, are Singaporee citizens sure that the other party can be more or as efficient as PAP? Can that other party maintain our peace and growing economy? Well, i think that sticking to PAp is a more wiser choice. The risk is just too big.

Secondly, the whole Town Councils thing will have to be rearranged. I think it is not worth the hassle. People may lose their jobs.

Thirdly, i love the PAP kindergarten. I don't want it to close down because it holds alot of memories for me.

I hope Singapore will vote wisely as the results will affect everyone from the babies to the ah mahs.

Eh Eh..

2006-04-27T00:29:00.000-07:00

Damn it. Whenever i listen to Mrs Low teaching Chemistry, i'll be like Zzzz... or my brain will go like 'la laa lala'. Its like nothing about Chemistry can enter my brain.. S.O.S! Mr Ang is going to help me every week.. yayy.. theres hope for my Amath.. I'm not gonna mess around anymore.. well maybe.. I'll do my best.

Lets move on to matters of the heart.(*not real name. to protect identity hehe)
Recently, i've rejected two guys. The first one was a friend, Samad*. Well he said he wanted to be friends. so i said what the heck? ok. Samad is always accompanying me to school and messaging and stuff. Then one day he suddenly told me that he actually want to be more than friends. Then i told him the truth. That i like someone else. He said, "oh ok. Bye." Yea.. ouch. Even though i was the one who did the rejecting, i felt really sad. The next day, i was like, " I want Samad back.." But this is just the Buyer's trauma theory. Its just like when you bought something and then you don't want it and decided to return it. But after that you may think, "Oh man.. It was actually ok.." Something like that arh.The second one is Mahmud*. He also wanted to be more than friends but my heart is for someone else.

After breaking people's hearts, i actually felt like i'm so stupid to turn my back on people who really like me for someone who i'm not really sure is into me. So i sent him a note to meet me after school. So we met. I started by saying that i have forgotten about the part where he lied to me straight into the face. He told me that he didn't lie to me. Well.. i .. believe him. arrghh.. I hope he's not lying to me again. Then i told him about the Samad strory and i said "i love you" OMG. I can't believe it myself. He smiled a very paiseh smile. Then he said,"I love you as a very very close friend" Herrrkkk.. Me: Oh. Nothing more? Him: A little bit more. Me: (What the hell? a little bit more?) U see. Just tell me the truth. If you don't have any special feelings for me, i can move on. Him: I have. I have special feelings for you rite here. (points at heart) Awww.. at least now i know that he likes me too. yayy.

I miss Zakiah.. My bestest bestest friend cum cousin cum sister. hahaha..

P.S-->Ouh drop it Nuralif. I'm sorry i told. But i'm a girl. Its in our nature to blab. I promise i won't do it again.

Wednesday Day

2006-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Squidward

Don't ask me whats with this pic. Its just weird. Weird is funny. haha

There was a talk for the upper sec students today and it was about STDs.. OMG. Disgusting. They showed multiple pictures of infected private parts. The speaker's favourite words seems to be 'vagina' and 'penis'. YUCK. Sick crap. At least say.. the girls 'thing' and the boys 'thing'. Yea.. definitely brought out the message.. ''Don't have sex or you'll die!'' ahaha.. (juz kidding)

BTW!! I CAN HEAR!! COMPLETELY.. FINALLY!! YEAH!! LIFE IS GREAT WHEN YOUR LEFT EAR IS NOT DEAF!! The miracle happened in physics lab.. I was like plonking the tripod stand everywhere.. Getting frustrated with the freaking long ruler, when tada!! It was like somebody turned up the volume.. I realise that before i had this 'sickness', i took my ears for granted. You don't realise the quality of what you've got until you lose it. woohoo.. I love my ears. You should too.

I think I have to go now.. its getting late.. Need to do School stuff.

P.S-- I know Someone who made out at Bukit Panjang. hehe

P.S-- Where the hell is Bukit Panjang? Where is Pasir Panjang?
Its TRUE-->

Hey Hey Hey

2006-04-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

Finally blogged after about 2 weeks i think.. Hrmmm.. ok.. i completely made a fool of myself in front of almost s hundred people in the ava room.. I was the MC for my documentary screening.. aaargghh.. Nobody could hear me.. except for the first two rows.. YUSA!! u OWE ME!! He completely backed out at the last minute..

Well.. Good things comes at the worst situations.. And i've finally talked to him after what? Months.. Well.. we didn't really talked.. he just said, " a little louder. I don't think they can hear you." erkk.. Well.. its something..

BTW, i'm moving out of my Aunt's to my parents' home on Saturday. Lets just say.. i have my reasons.. Lots of work for me. Can't believe i moved into my aunt's with just two bags and going back with.. ten. Its been a long four years. I'm gonna miss some things. Especially my nieces and nephews.. There is some good too.. My cousin can finally have her room to herself.. She can "revamp it". Have fun then. Damn. Now i'm going to have to wake up early. Usually i wake up at 6.40am. I won't be able to sign in MSN as often. probably never.

Yesterday's Yesterday's yesterday's yesterday, i saw a girl from my school with her boyfriend under my block. I saw her kissing the guy's hand. As in 'salam'. That's just so wrong. I thought that's what married people do rite? C'mon the girl's barely fourteen. Tak sabar nk kawin ker?? hahah Maybe they think its "romantic". PUIH..

Speaking of romantic.. I can still remember a romantic conversation i had with him. Me: What do you hate most about me? Him: Your face. Me:What? Why? Him: Coz I can't take my eyes off you.

Haizz.. too bad we're not on speaking terms.

Hey peeeple

2006-04-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

International Frendship day.. Mambo no.5 haha

Gila punya orang2 ahaha

yes, there are only 7 boys (Sikai dunno where)

I'm not going to sch tomorrow.. haiz.. Coz my ear is still hurting and my mom told me to go to the polyclinic to get it checked.. it hurts like mad..

Adi said that it could probably be cancer.. Hey.. i'm freaking out here. let's think positive.. probably just a harmless infection..

My mom gave me a ring. She said she had it since she was 15.. its pure gold with a real black gem.. i'm so touched.

I actually wanted to change my blog template coz theres this error thingy always coming up.. I was 7/8 done with my new template when my cousin accidentally closed it.. CCRRRAAACCKK... I felt like my spine was crushed.. haiz.. so.. i guess i'm going to re-do it another day..

Klar.. my ear is hurting me again.. wish me luck for tomorrow..

p.s - Never Trust A Bapok.

Helloh

2006-04-02T01:42:00.000-08:00

I couldnt sleep last night.. My left ear was hurting like crazy.. Its the inside. I was tossing and turning and thinking to myself," Can somebody please just kill me!" Morning came and my left ear was deaf. I was panicking. My dad took me to the family clinic at Bedok North. The doctor said that theres an infection. So i was given some medication.. I can't hear right now.. haiz.. Poor me.. Pekak aku..

My mom wants to have her nose pierced. My dad suggested that i peice my nose too.. together-gether with my mom.. I don't know so much.. maybe after o'levels..

I now realise that being close to someone just because you want to be closer to his/her friend is completely wrong.. Don't ever do that. Its very bitchy behaviour..

I HATE ACE YOUNG AND BUCKY.

Save The Sharks

2006-03-27T06:30:00.000-08:00

Every year, 100 million sharks are finned and thrown back into the sea where they die a slow, painful death. Please think twice before you start slurping that tasty shark's fin soup. Do you know that shark's fins do not impart flavor? That means you won't notice the difference if you were to order sea cucumber. Reject any shark's fin soup that's served to you. When there is a demand, there is a supply.

I can still remember.. Me and my big extended family had a big dinner at a restaurant.. They ordered a super big bowl of shark's fin soup.. I ate the other food but left my soup untouched.. My cousin's were like,"Fadzlina!! You're so missing out!".. Watever.. Soon, the bowl was empty except for some slime at the sides.. My aunt took the bowl and started to lick it.. while saying continuously,"very expensive, very expensive.." Yea.. Totally drop my water face.. Don't bother bout her.. haha..

Looks like i'll probably be blogging once a week..

2006-03-25T01:17:00.000-08:00

Went to school just now with my uncle.. a.k.a faiza's dad.. Yes people.. i'm one of the last ten in my class.. i failed a-math, chem and phy.. soo sad.. i realised that i'm such a lazy worm..

The Adam Khoo workshop was soo awesome.. very motivating..

I have not done my CIP!! so.. i'm going with the 4n1s.. yea..

To the that particular gd-looking guy (that i have mentioned in the previous post), i keep seeing you everywhere.. along the corridors, during recess, after school.. haizz.. Too bad you don't even know i exist.. I'm not going to do anything by the way.. Coz its really not a good time to be seeing guys.. So.. i guess i'll just be looking.. hey its not psychotic ok.. Its not like i'm following him around like some bloody stalker.. I don't even know how to spell his name.. yea.. moving on.

ouh man.. drama canteen performance is coming up.. who the hell came up with the idea of canteen performances.. its soo degrading.. They don't really care who's on stage.. they rather eat.. I'm so gonna beg for the upper secs to perform for the lower secs.. If not, i dunno where to put my face. (dun tell me on my head)

Is it wrong to be close to someone just because you want to be closer to his/her friend?

I won't cry because its over. I'll smile because it happened.

what a normal day

2006-03-17T05:32:00.000-08:00

Harlow to all.. Today is such a boring day.. Coz i'm all alone since my cousin is in NPCC camp.. Which is like sooo noisy.. Its not really a great thing to have your house so close to your school you know.. I can still remember... I was sleeping so peacefully when i heard," NCC, NCC all the way! We like it here!! We like it here!!..bla..bla.." I went to the window and yelled," Hey shut up already!!" hahaha..

So i did nothing today except, eat, watch tv, a-math iconnexion.. Which reminds me! I dunno how to do geo iconnexion.. do i have to upload my assignment or what? But it says its due on 22nd Feb leh.. How? What? Where? 10% CA u knoe.. somebody please help.

Btw, i was watching tv and theres this commercial/advertisement thats really getting on my nerves.. i mean seriously! Zap zap butt, zap zap thighs.. u know.. the Uzap thing.. How lame can u get? I'll show my protest by changing the channel everytime that commercial comes on.. muahahaha..

I've also mastered the "heybypeh" game.. I'm going to challenge you Fadzilah..

i'm out of stuff to type.. When i go bloghopping, i'm amazed at all the amazing bloggers dat come up with witty and interesting entries.. and when i look at mine.. its like bleah.. haha.. ok lar.. Selamat.

ps. i saw someone who's really cute/dashing/handsome on the last day of school before it closes.. And for once, i can't wait for school to reopen.. hehe

The Dramatically Sporty Camp

2006-03-16T04:26:00.001-08:00

Hey hey. Juz came back from the 'Dramatically sporty camp'. The bestest camp ever! Serious! I learnt silat, throwing discus, touch rugby and other drama-theatre skills. The dorms was sooo cool.. hehe.. Singapore Sports School rocks! Though there was alot of milipedes.. I made loads of friends and was really sad to leave.. awww.. i knoe it was juz a 3 days 2 nights camp.. But the bonding we had was as if we came from the same class.. The food was good.. Better than other camp food i've tasted.. On the last day, we had deep fried chicken wing. Yum.. I saw some people crying when it was goodbye time.. i hugged almost everybody, exchanged numbers and took pictures.. Maybe we'll meet again someday.. =)

2006-03-12T03:46:00.000-08:00

I've finished all of my Iconnexion thingys. I did some of them in hentam bocai style.. hehe.. Ok.. so I came back from Chai Chee quite a while ago.. and i've got another cat!! Kitten actually.. super duper cute!! i'm calling him orange coz.. he's orange in colour.. hehe..

My group members and i are going to school tomorrow to edit our shots.. Gawd.. this documentary is turning into a dragful disaster.. we went filming yesterday and everyone was like.." What to do ar? Can go home already?" Yeah.. its dat "fun".

Drama camp on Tues.. can't wait.. though i'm a little nervous. Theres gonna be people frm different schools from all over Singapore.. I'm afraid i can't be as dramatic as their standards.. herkk.. I just don't want to embarass myself, that's all.

Till next time then.

2006-03-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i went to watch 'Tainted Flower'. It was awesome.. It made me cry.. haha.. Yup.. it was that good. Went home ard about 1210 am.. i was panicking a little.. Thank god i wasn't locked out of the house..

Life is so hectic nowadays.. theres always homework every single day.. I can't complain that much coz its the o'level year.. But its like piling and piling.. Its like.. i've not even finished one homework and there are three more waiting.. urgghh..

My brother is soo killing me. I can't stand him. he's my small brother.. the only sibling i have but he's such a pain in the ass.. he wants this.. he wants that.. hello.. we're not the freakin Hilton family. I understand that he's still young but if he cares about his studies as much as his gameboy, i would be very happy. Sometimes he's got no respect for people and its sad. Everytime after i beat him up a little, i'll feel guilty. I guess it for his own good? I keep saying to myself, "One day, he'll thank me for that"

Btw, theres this 'ggrrzz' person who's been tagging rude stuff and trying to get my attention. Usually i'll just ignore. But since he's/she's been trying soo hard, i have something to say. This is my blog. I have the right to delete away your tags. So feel free to keep tagging coz i'm juz gonna delete it away. You're so stupid. You crappy piece of shit. And whats with the name 'ggrrzz'? Its dumb. You're dumb. Hahaha..

These are the years worth living. Lets make the best out of our lives.

2006-02-22T06:14:00.000-08:00

School was okoklah.. Not much happened.. I thought there was Malay Opera today..instead we had PCCG.. Sumthing about core values.. sick of it..

I'm starting to hate alot of things.. yeah.. i'm not much of a positive person.. Marcus said i'm always expecting the worst in situations.. To me.. U need to expect these things coz anything can happen and u need to be prepared.. rite? haha..

That person is lying about lying to me.. I feel so.. used. it sucks.. WTF.. this is wat u get for giving all your trust to someone.. Then again.. he was the only guy that has ever really cared about wat i feel.. wat i do.. But why must he also be the one who breaks my heart.. I don't think it will ever work out.. Maybe wat my friends said is right.. It was just a 2005 thing.. (urrgggh.. i think i'm getting too mushy)

I hate u coz i love u.

Jaded

2006-02-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

Babi babi babi babi babi. He freakin lied to me.. relax sua.. U're so handsome izit?? eeeeee.. wateverla.. Dun care anymore..

Boys are cheats and liars. They're such a big disgrace.

2006-02-17T05:13:00.000-08:00

Hello..
first of all.. i would like to apologize sincerely for whatever wrongs that i've done to anyone.. Everybody makes mistakes.. And i am only human after all.. Forgive and forget??

Hrmm.. today was okay.. had my e-math TA.. Hope it'll turn out well.. fingers crossed..
I'm going to Town tomorrow for my English project.. Its a documentary.. and my group is doing a documentary on the increase of metrosexuals-why?.. we're gonna interview some street peepz.. Hrmph.. Amanda's nt gonna be there.. how? She's so resourceful.. haiz..

Going to Chai Chee too tomorrow.. Can't wait to see Ubie!! My cat btw.. he's realli cute!! Adorable.. he's a few months old. Tiny and round in the middle.. hehe..

Haiz.. these few days.. i feel so lethargic.. and i miss him.. its juz not the same anymore.. He's busy and i pretend to be.. guess its juz not working out?